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TokenClub Bi-Weekly Report — Issue 114（5.4–5.17）
https://preview.redd.it/kkhj7agzz5251.png?width=875&format=png&auto=webp&s=f47007e7923d8f40d98e3ba7d08a31c3729a0bd3 Hello everyone, thank you for your continued interest and support. In the past two weeks, various tasks of TokenClub have been progressing steadily. The product development and community operation progress this week are as follows: 1. TokenClub Events 1)TokenClub & 499Block reached strategic cooperation in live broadcasting On May 28th, TokenClub and 499Block reached a strategic cooperation to jointly build a live broadcast ecosystem in the vertical field of blockchain. 2)520e events When 520 comes, TokenClub launches live interactive interaction. During the event, participate in interactive questions in the live broadcast room or forward the live poster to Twitter and the telegram group, and upload a screenshot to have the opportunity to extract 520, 1314 red envelope rewards https://preview.redd.it/apyee28406251.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=9c9798db931ad6611d6c258907120610ae11ff11 3)Text version of live content is abailable on Medium In order to better understand the live broadcast of TokenClub by overseas communities, we translated the live broadcast content into English and uploaded it to TokenClub’s Medium official account, so that the community’s small partners can view it. https://preview.redd.it/hhmu3pl506251.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=fae9d42dcdee9d079219d1ffe612fc573bad01e8 4)Preview: TokenClub’s self-media grandma is invited to participate in the golden financial theme live event From May 29th to June 4th, Golden Finance will hold a five-day live broadcast of the theme of “Finding Double Coins”. Grandpa Coin will express his views on June 3, welcome to pay attention. 2.TokenClub Live 1) Summary Recently, Binance Co-founder He Yi, TRON founder Sun Yuchen, Hobbit HBTC founder Ju Jianhua, OSL chairman Dave, BlockVC founding partner Xu Yingkai, Outlier Ventures founder amie Burke, Bitribe founder SKY, CryptoBriefing CEO Han Kao , Huarai Group / Vice President, Global Market and Business Leader Ciara, Guosheng Securities Blockchain Research Institute Sun Shuang, Tongtongtong Research Institute CEO Song Shuangjie, Jin Tiancheng Law Firm Senior Partner Yu Bingguang, Binance China Jiang Jinze, principal researcher of Blockchain Research Institute, Meng Yan, vice president of Digital Asset Research Institute, co-founder of Primitive Ventures & director of Coindesk advisory board-Dovey Wan, founding partner of Genesis Capital & co-founder of Kushen Wallet Ocean Liao Yangyang, Binance C2C-Kathy, Binance OTC-Coco, Binance Contract & Options-Justin, Binance VIP-Jennifer, Binance Broker-Jess, Binance Mining Pool-Denny, Harbin Institute of Technology Blockchain Research Executive Deputy Director Xu Zhifeng, dForce founder Yang Mindao, Mars Finance co-founder Shang Silin, Cobo & Yuchi co-founder Shenyu, well-known investor Xu Zhe, CasperLabs CEO Mrinal Manohar, CasperLabs co-founder Scott Walker, Chairman of Rock Tree Omer Ozden, Nova Club incubation team leader & Waterdrop Capital partner Zheng Yushan, Rolling Stone miner founder Alex Lam, BitUniverse coin founder Chen Yong, Odaily Planet Daily founder and CEO Mandy Wang Mengdie, Binance stablecoin BUSD project responsible Helen Tu and senior expert of TokenClub blockchain and cryptocurrency investment strategy-Zao Shen talks with you about blockchain things ~ On May 18, Block 101 Binance Key Account Manager Luna talked to Primitive Ventures co-founder, non-profit bitcoin development fund Hardcore Fund executive director, and Coindesk advisory board director-Dovey Wan, to understand “C and C How is the Goddess of Crypto Assets made? “Dovey Wan shared with us on asset allocation, investment judgment, entrepreneurship, DCEP, etc. https://preview.redd.it/0dsry36906251.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=a7f6f4b852547d2e43114f81a981f7aa6ea10f61 On May 19, Block 101 Yingge talked with Sun Zeyu, the founding partner of Genesis Capital and co-founder of Kushen Wallet, to share the theme of “Blockchain Investment Experience”. This investor, who is rated as “reliable” by insiders, recommends that novices try not to touch contracts, do not stay overnight even when making contracts, be alert to risks, refuse gambling, and rationally analyze investments. On May 20th, 499Block ’s two-year birthday carnival “Global Hot Chain, Keeping Together for Every Year” celebration was held in the TokenClub Live Room. The cross-border AMA Solitaire + popular day group anchor live video sharing, including Binance Co-founder He Yi, TRON founder Sun Yuchen, Hobbit HBTC founder Ju Jianhua, OSL chairman Dave, BlockVC founding partner Xu Yingkai, Outlier Ventures founder amie Burke, Bitribe founder SKY, CryptoBriefing CEO Han Kao, Huobi Group / Vice President Global Markets and Dozens of blockchain leaders from home and abroad, such as Ciara, the business leader, all appeared on the scene, and 499Block became a popular beauty angel group to help the interactive host. https://preview.redd.it/ga6ey51b06251.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=d94cc1a03640538ec1e99443c8cbb7a5e77596de On May 20, Sun Shuang, senior researcher of Guosheng Securities Blockchain Research Institute, Song Shuangjie, Jin Tong, CEO of Tongzhengtong Research Institute were jointly invited by Lingang Xinyefang, Lingang Innovation Management School, and Binance China Blockchain Research Institute. Tian Bingguang Senior Partner Yu Bingguang, Binance China Blockchain Research Institute Chief Researcher Jiang Jinze, Vice President of Digital Assets Research Institute Meng Yan, and many experts talked about the “Critical Digital RMB DCEP” in the live broadcast, one A feast of intertwined thoughts is worth watching again! On May 21st, Ocean Liao Yangyang, the founder of Block 101 Seven Seven Dialogue Force Field, focused on the “big enlightenment era of digital assets”, Ocean shared with us his entrepreneurial experience, the first pot of gold, public chain, currency circle and Analysis of the current market. Regarding the future of Bitcoin, Ocean feels that he can work hard towards the direction of digital gold and become a substitute or supplement for gold. He is determined to see more, because the ceiling of the entire industry is very high, and he still cannot see its end point. The index level is rising, far from being over. On May 22, “In the name of the Pizza Festival, we came to a different live broadcast” Bringing Goods “”, which was organized by the girls in the 101-day group of the block: June 6, July 7, Sisi, Yingge, Qianjiangyue , Dialogue: Binance First Sister, Binance C2C-Kathy, Binance OTC-Coco, Binance Contract & Options-Justin, Binance VIP-Jennifer, Binance Broker-Jess, Binance Mining Pool-Denny. We have explained to us one by one about C2C, OTC, contract options, etc. If you are interested, please move to the live room. https://preview.redd.it/a9am0j5e06251.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=7f8d0e80492027a000d4e719ec727b56cc27d94f On May 22, Block 101 Sisi Dialogue Xu Zhifeng, executive deputy director of the Blockchain Research Center of Harbin Institute of Technology, shared the theme: “Strategy of Great Powers: Seizing New Highlands of Blockchain Technology”. He expressed his views on his own currency circle experience, entrepreneurship, blockchain technology, DECP, etc. Xu Zhifeng is very optimistic about the future development of blockchain. He said: “Ten years later, blockchain will become a very common industry. We are the Internet industry and have never changed.” On May 23, the old Chinese doctor Zao Shen from the coin circle went online ~ The theme of this issue: If you want to be short, you must be able to sing first, and if you want to be long, you must be patient. If the meal is not fragrant, the game is not good, and the happiness of the past has drifted into the distance, just because the daily reading is still a loss, and the head is hurt. Don’t panic, the old Chinese doctor Zao Shen of the currency circle will adopt the Trinity Interventional Therapy and precise care to regenerate life. Don’t move quickly to the live room to see what “therapy” is. On May 25, Block 101, July 7th conversation with dForce founder Yang Mindao, talked about “DeFi opportunities and challenges.” Yang Mindao believes that the four biggest benefits of DeFi are: programmability; non-custodial nature; non-licensing; composability. He believes that the current public chain market is seriously homogenized, and the most promising public chain is Ethereum. Ethereum is the best and largest in terms of developer group, ecology, and technological evolution, and can absorb the advantages of each public chain. At the same time, he is also extremely optimistic about DeFi, “DeFi application value is gradually verified, and the value of this type of token will gradually become more prominent.” On May 26th, Mars Finance co-founder Shang Silin Hardcore Dialogue Cobo & Yuchi co-founder Shenyu and well-known investor Xu Zhe. The trend of “financialization” in the digital asset industry is becoming more and more obvious, and the friends of miners need to master more and more skills. Unveiling the mystery of hedging for everyone. On May 26th, Nova Superstar Dialogue Phase 13 focused on the Silicon Valley star project CasperLabs, specially invited CasperLabs CEO Mrinal Manohar, CasperLabs co-founder Scott Walker, Rock Tree chairman Omer Ozden, and Nova Club incubation team leader Water Capital Partners Zheng Yushan, discuss CasperLbs together. On May 26, Block 101 Sisi talked with the founder of the Rolling Stone Miner, Alex Lam, and took us into the “post-worker life” of a PhD in finance. Alex shared the reasons for entering the coin circle, the first pot of gold, mining, pitted pits, investment experience and opportunities in the digital currency industry. Alex said: Bitcoin exceeds US $ 100,000, and it will be in the second half of next year or the year after. On May 27th, Block 101 Yingge talked with BitUniverse founder Chen Yong and shared the theme: “Who” needs grid trading. Chen Yong mainly introduced the currency trading tool of Bitcoin. In his view, grid trading has changed an investor’s concept-from stud into a batch of positions and positions. Regarding the price of Bitcoin, Chen Yong believes that the price of Bitcoin may reach one hundred thousand dollars around 2030. On May 28, Block 101 Binance Mining Pool Wu Di talked to Mandai Wang Mengdie, founder of Planet Daily Odaily, to learn more about the process of “media entrepreneurs marching into the blockchain from venture capital circles”. Mandy believes that the core competence in the media industry is high-quality original content, which is the most basic but difficult to stick to. The initial focus of entering the mixed media industry of the dragon and dragon is to focus and amplify value. On May 29th, Block 101 Qianjiangyue Dialogue Hellen Tu, the project leader of Binance Stablecoin BUSD project, talked with everyone about the stablecoin “Life and Death”, Hellen shared the stablecoin in detail, and published his own the opinion of. For details, please move to the live room. On May 30th, Zaoshen came to share the theme: Dongfeng blowing, bullets flying, unlimited chase? In this issue, Zao Shen shared with you the recent international financial situation and various major events in the United States in the past week, which extended to the impact on the currency circle and answered various questions about investment strategies. Friends who want to know more details can move to the live room of Zao Shen. 3.TokenClub operation data -Live data: 13 live broadcasts in the past two weeks, with over 800,000 views. TokenClub hosted a total of 870 live broadcasts with a total of 45.06 million views. -Binary trade data: In the past two weeks, guess the rise and fall to participate in a total of 1268 times, the amount of participation exceeded 2 million TCT. At present, it is guessed that the rise and fall function has participated in a total of 1.11 million times, with a cumulative participation amount of 498 million TCT. -Chat data: In the past two weeks, a total of 19271 messages have been generated. A total of 4.85 milliom messages have been launched since the function was launched. -Mini-game data: The mini-game has participated in a total of 4212 times in the past two weeks. A total of 1,66 million self-functions have been online. -Cut leeks game data together: Since the game was launched, the total number of user participation in the game was 962612 TCT total consumption was 6,27 million gift certificate total consumption was 15,95million and TCT mining output was 161496. -TokenClub KOL data: Over the past two weeks, the total reading volume of the BTCGrandpa article has been viewed by more than 300,000 people. -Social media data: At present, the number of Weibo official accounts is 18033 and the number of Twitter followers is 1332 and we have opened the official Medium account this week, welcome to follow. -Telegram official group data: In the past 2 weeks, there were 238 chats in the group, and the total number of Telegram official groups is currently 2906. -Medium data: Medium official account u/TokenClub has published 5 excellent articles, official announcements and updates are published in English, welcome to follow. 4.Communities 1)Overseas Community TokenClub held an event for forwarding Twitter and telegram group chats for overseas users. Bitcoin halved in less than two weeks, overseas users are more active in the telegram group, and some friends are more concerned about Binance Block 101 live broadcast, aggregation exchange, TCT usage and other issues, the administrator responded in time.On May 12th, when Bitcoin was halved, TokenClub organized a forwarding Twitter, telegram group chat prize event and participating in a live question asking interactive prize event for overseas users. There are many live broadcast events in the near future. The live broadcast poster information will be released to overseas users as soon as possible. The follow-up TokenClub will translate and broadcast high-quality live broadcast content to Twitter and Medium. Bitcoin halved, overseas users are more active in the telegram group, and some partners are more concerned about block 101 live broadcast, bitcoin future price trend, TCT usage and other issues, the administrator responded in time in the group. https://preview.redd.it/2nrknnyo06251.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=fb98b385c0caf7e65c7b3b2bb1edd782ec126905 2)Domestic community Sweet Orange Club Weekly News Last Friday, a holiday, the community opened the red envelope rain event, and brought a sincere gift to everyone while relaxing in the holiday. At the same time, it also sent the most sincere blessings to all mothers in the community on Mother’s Day. Thank you for your long-term support and help to the Orange Club community. Hundred-day scheduled investment event (Phase II) The fourth week of the second 100-day fixed investment plan held this week has been awarded, and everyone is still very active in this event. This week, the Bitcoin halving market was also opened in advance. The small partners participating in the fixed investment should now have a certain floating win, so we adopt the correct cycle investment strategy to believe that it can bring unexpected benefits to everyone. Sign in the lottery. On the evening of May 3rd and May 10th, TCT Fortune Free Academy carried out the 51st and 52nd week sign-in sweepstakes, and rewarded the small TCT partners who had always insisted on signing in. In these two sign-in sweepstakes, the lucky friends received 20–180TCT as a reward. In addition, during the lucky draw, the college friends also actively expressed their opinions on the topic of this year’s bull market. The Leek Paradise Community Conference will continue as usual every Sunday at 20:00. During the conference, members will discuss recent hot topics, including gifts and blessings for Mother ’s Day, and the halving of Bitcoin everyone is paying attention to. At the end, the friends in the group also showed a rare enthusiasm at the first sight. It seems that the market still affects the mood. The members routinely started a red envelope rain to cheer for the participating partners and encourage everyone to maintain patience and confidence. Of course, at the same time, we are encouraging ourselves to see the community meeting next week. Come on! TokenClub volunteer community, sign in red envelopes every day, as long as you sign in every day, you can get good benefits, friends join us quickly! In the past two weeks, the community has conducted active partners. Volunteer community: Change to the currency circle consultation and pass the analysis of Grandma Coin and Panda analysts, support TokenClub in action, and continue to vote for TCT. In the last month, we have worked hard to learn the rain god’s strategy. We have doubled the coins in our hands. The community WeChat group has recently injected fresh students. We look forward to more people joining! Volunteer community, will continue to work hard for TokenClub TCT has been listed on Binance、Okex、Gate.io、ZB-M、MXC、Biki、Coinex、BigOne、Coinbene、Cybex、SWFT、Loopring、Rootrex etc. TokenClub website: www.tokenclub.com Telegram：https://t.me/token\_club
Dash In 2018: Disappointments, Boondoggles, Scandals, Disasters, & Catastrophes
[The original post was censored in the the paidshill Dash pumping sub Dashpay, where actual discussion beyond "2018 kind of sucked for Dash" is not allowed.] Disappointments In 2018, Dash failed to be listed on Coinbase while ETC and many other coins were, due to Dash's notorious Instamine, centralized development, and murky Howey Test/SEC Action status. In 2018, Dash failed be included in the OpenBazaar project, while Monero and several other alts were added. In 2018, efforts to hype Dash's supposedly impressive 2mb block-based tx/sec rate were crushed and humiliated when DCG's creaky old client hit a crippling software limitation around the same time as BCH and BSV were chewing through 32 and 64 megabyte blocks. In 2018, Dash's former anti-segwit hero Craig Wright learned new facts about law and concluded Dash is an illegal security, saying so loudly in tweets backed by citations. In 2018, Wirex and other debit card providers supported Bitcoin and many alts, but not Dash, despite a year of Shrem 2.0 shill talk about integrations 'soon'. In 2018, Dash Core used Uphold for the "Acquire Dash" part of their Kript mobile plan, but Uphold doesn't work in Venezuela , so that pillar of their strategy was broken. Boondoggles In 2018, the FanDuel fiasco wasted a fortune in cash and goodwill, leaving Dash's target market of online gambling to Calvin Ayre's BSV and Roger Ver's BCH blockchains. In 2018, the DACH Embassy fiasco wasted a fortune in cash and goodwill, as nobody ever really cared about Macrocuck/Simon/Basilpop/Ezra/Fabio running around desperately trying to look busy enough to justify their ridiculous burn rate and poor results. In 2018, the CoPay fiasco wasted a fortune in cash and goodwill as users and devs suffered an ambush from DCG, leaving the formerly hyped "backbone of Evolution" project instantly retired to abandonware status. In 2018, the Alt36 train-wreck-in-progress slowly lurched towards its imminent conclusion of causing more toxic FUD and wasting a fortune in cash and goodwill with zero deliverables to show for it. Scandals In 2018, fake "Venezuela adoption" news resulted in massive public humiliation as Twitter, cc, and Russia Today (ironically, the home of Dash paidshill Max Keiser) debunked hype that only amounted to useless stickers on greasy cash registers. In 2018, Evan and Amanda were missing in action, despite Evan's previous promises to develop hardware and support the ecosystem with his vast, intentionally insta-mined fortune. In 2018, Dash paid to hold a Bitcoin networking event at a Miami strip club, offending so many people (it was a 2nd offence for Dash with strippers at TNABC) the scandal was reported worldwide by Bloomberg, Fortue, Business Insider, etc. In 2018, knowledge of Dash's instamine became widespread throughout the entire crypto universe and the intentional nature of Evan's faked "bug" excuse became a subject of investigation. In 2018, Dash cargo cultists reduced themselves to shilling the dwindling number of cherry-picked metrics by which Dash was not failing utterly, such as the absurd "FairCoinValue" and fallacious/irrelevant "ATH Masternode Count" hype. In 2018, the KuvaCash fiasco turned toxic (wasting a fortune in cash and goodwill) resulting in a kDAO splinter group of venture capitalist MNOs and creating massive Howey Test implications. Disasters In 2018, a KuvaNation vs. DACH Force News civil war inflicted mass casualties, leaving a permanent split of the "DGBB" community into non-cooperative Team Tao and Team Joel factions fighting over a shrinking Treasury budget like starving rats. In 2018, malicious MNOs trolled Dash at the protocol level and on DashCentral, causing chaos at the very end of voting cycles, thus showing the entire world Dash is not resistant to Sybil attack after all. In 2018, Dash Clown Group Inc failed to live up to its own self-imposed "Agile Development" goals so many times they published one sketchy, final "DRAFT" roadmap, and then quietly abandoned entirely the idea of actually trying to meet deadlines (despite the dash.org page still advertising a Q4 2018 Alpha release). Catastrophes In 2018, a single mining pool controlled enough hashpower to prevent a timely upgrade, demonstrating that Dash's PoW is not sufficiently decentralized (due to Bitmain's monopoly on Dash ASICs). In 2018, www.crypto51.app showed the world Dash is >90% NiceHash-able and thus may be 51% attacked easily and cheaply (<1 BTC per hour), causing Poloniex and other exchanges to require 50 confirmations (rather than using InsantSend). In 2018, the failures of Dash's X11-based PoW security model and resulting threat of attacks caused Dash to abandon Nakamoto Consensus for a wonky, untested, homespun version of checkpoints (conceding defeat and offering an unconditional "pre-consensus" surrender before an attack even happened). In 2018, Evolution was not here by NYE (not even an alpha version of a testnet). In 2018, no amount of brave ThisIsFine talk about buying dips could change the fact that Dash Core Group Inc had to radically downsize due to their customary $935k/month funding being completely unsupportable. Analysis Never mind the price drop, even though Dash suffered worse than most of its Top 20 peers and fell in rank from #3 all the way down to #16. Let's ignore the fact Dash is marketed to investors with the 'Masternode' feature advertised as supposedly stabilizing the price. Let's also ignore the fact that in 2018 Dash's supposed Sybil-resistance was shown to be inadequate, as blockchain analysis revealed dozens of Masternodes trolling at the protocol level by voting no on all but the infamous DEMOTE RYAN TAYLOR proposal. Evolution was, after years of delays, complete from-scratch reboots, and blown goals, given one final self-imposed deadline to meet. Dash's Queen, Amanda of the Used Car Lot, declared she was going have to rethink her position regarding Duff's Instamined Masternode tokens if that deadline wasn't met. That deadline was midnight Dec 31, 2018. Now it's the first morning of 2019 and Evolution is nowhere to be seen. Even worse, Dash Clown Inc is once again making negative progress towards their goals of shipping a test-net version of v13 worth of the term "Release Candidate." Dash Clown Inc burned through ten (10) un-releasable (because broken) so-called Release Candidates. Finally the clueless clowns (running around like headless chickens since Andy Freer was fired or rage-quit) gave up on the entire v13 RC branch and went back to tinkering with v12. No updates to the crucial LLMQ repo have been made since November, when the price drop crushed DCG's budget and Andy suddenly left Evolution to die on the operating table. Dash in 2018 through the eyes of Reddit's most popular crypto sub January 2018
Conclusion The Top Three Dash-related posts at cryptocurrency are a microcosm of Dash's start-to-finish miserable, horrible, terrible year of self-inflicted blunders, money pits, and epoch-ending cataclysms cumulating in the resolution of the Dash experiment and disproving Evan's "Dash is Digital Cash" hypothesis. Note: The repost is shared here. The original has been censored from Dashpay. https://np.reddit.com/DashUncensored/comments/abvewf/dash_in_2018_disappointments_boondoggles_scandals/ [Dash is such a terrible scam that it needs its own uncensored sub to discuss happenings without incurring the wrath of the MNO and the Dash ponzi leadership/Evan/Amanda. I honestly believe crypto must weed out these ponzi like operations before we can move forward as a collective group]
The Lemonade Stand: A (Head-canon) story of LibUnity
The Lemonade Stand: a LibUnity story Allies: Miles Clarence Pinnacle II: Sixteen-year-old heir to Pinnacle Products™, dashing, incredibly driven, lazier than a sack of bricks at anything NOT having to do with $$$, not Jewish, skipped a grade and won’t let anyone forget, dirty™ capitalist™ pig™, somehow likes every genre of music at the same time???, American™ dream, SO. FREAKIN. EXTRA., genuinely wants you to follow your dreams and be happy by spending your entire life acquiring wealth, somehow hasn’t gotten punched yet, “patron of the arts” because Salvator Mundi just sold for $450 mil, “buh-buh-buh-buh-BITCOIN!”, wants to be Elon Musk but unironically, raised by 4chan, “God says no, market sells yes”, duality of man, slacks, button-up shirt, vest, Rollie™, sunglasses, the most pretentious shoes you’ve ever seen Leslie (couldn’t afford a middle name mate) Jones: “it’s shite being” British-American, one ethnically crooked tooth, can’t find a consistent ideology, Sex Pistols, petty theft, titty pills, anarchism, fan of the Sex Pistols, sailor mouth Victorian taste, likes incorrectly using British slang, listens to the Sex Pistols, “too nice :)”, makes a really good hummus because it’s not her native food, as “free range kid on free range food,” Oi!, 17 “but I’m not like those other wankers,” the same Sex Pistols shirt everyday even though it has a massive hole in the right arm-pit, always wears union jack bandana, two bits over a meter and a half “tall”, messy brown hair, flower skirt, did she mention she likes the Sex Pistols?, light brown eyes, worn-out chucks, bollocks Mr. Miles Clarence Pinnacle I: America! capitalism, America! sport/s, America! my beautiful family, America! Pinnacle Products™, America! Mrs. Julie Winter Pinnacle: “Sweety have you tried my homemade casserole? All the girls at Bible study loved it! Do you go to Bible study dear? Oh, you should join us next Sunday! Barbara does such a good job at leading discussion about ʰᵒʷ ᴶᵉˢᵘˢ ᵈᵒᵉˢⁿ'ᵗ ᵃᶜᵗᵘᵃˡˡʸ ᵐᵉᵃⁿ ᵃˡˡ ᵗʰᵉ ʳᵃᵈᶦᶜᵃˡ ᵗʰᶦⁿᵍˢ ʰᵉ ˢᵃʸˢ… Belligerents: l e m o n s, first quarter, moral ambiguity, U.S. housing market Scene 1:Sunny American day in a sunny American neighborhood. Fourteen-year-old Miles Clarence Pinnacle II sets up a shabby lemonade stand (seriously Miles, a lemonade stand? Aren’t you a little too old for this?) (“Money’s money baby 😉”) across the street from a construction site, hawking his newest Pinnacle™ Product™ (or as I like to call it, his newest get-rich-quick scheme) (“Hate the man, not the hustle baby 😉”). Whatever, let’s just see how the market reacts to his newest… hustle. Miles:shouting with comical gesticulation Lemonade! Get your lemonade here! Nothing better after a hard day’s work than a nice, tall, refreshing glass of ice cold… ooo, hear those ice cubes tinkling it’s like straight out of a commercial people… and it’s so uh… refreshing, you wouldn’t believe me unless you tried it yourself! And just think gentlemen, this beverage, this… Pinnacle™ of refreshment can be yours, and only yours, for two small payments of $.50. Truly, this miracle of capitalism could only happen in a land as beautiful and free as the U. S. of A. Now, which one of you lucky gentlemen will be the first to try… Construction worker:gathered around an Igloo™ water cooler Go home Miles, your lemonade sucks. Miles:indignant Hey! My lemonade does not suck! It’s a Pinnacle™ Product™! Construction worker: It’s watered down slop is what it is. I’d rather pay five bucks for water than a dollar for your crap. Miles:dumps out half the glass Care to put your money where your mouth is? Construction worker:raises his third cup of water Nah I’m good Miles. Got all the water I need for free. Miles:grumbling Commie cheapskate. Construction worker:laughs and returns to work Miles:looking down the street for another othersuckerscustomers. Notices a young “girl??” nonchalantly approaching and gestures they/them over Hey, hey, hey, you, kid! “Girl” (maybe?):removes quem’s headphones Who, me? Miles: Well I don’t see any other strapping young men… Leslie: … women… Miles: women this side of the sidewalk, do I? Girl:looks around I… guess not? Miles:puts his arm around her shoulder cause what’s personal space, right? You’re absolutely right! What’s your name kid? Leslie:visibly uncomfortable, but Miles hasn’t gotten the customer satisfaction report yet Leslie. Miles: Well my gender-ambiguous friend, you’ve just walked into the opportunity of a lifetime. Leslie:playing along I have? Miles:with dollar signs in his eyes Absolutely! You have the exclusive hono, of having the first glass of my patented™ home m… assembled! glass of Pinnacle Lemonade!™ A once in a lifetime opportunity that can be yours, and only yours, for one small payment of… Leslie:curtly I’ll try it if you shut up. Miles:silently steps aside and hands her a glass Leslie:s i p p Miles:impatiently Well? How is it? You love it? You love it don’t you? You love it so much you’re speechless. Leslie:grimacing It tastes like, like… Miles: the greatest thing you’ve ever… Leslie: Shite. Miles:the five stages of grief But, but… it’s a Pinnacle Product™… Leslie:tosses it out Tastes like watered-down minute-maid mate. Miles:tries it himself and promptly spits it out. Crashes like the housing market onto the stool, sighing dejectedly Huh…, maybe that’s why I haven’t made first quarter. Leslie:☹ Miles:exploiting™ it I won’t be able to make my first bitcoin investment, and this venture capital failure will haunt my portfolio till the end of my days. My credit will take, I’ll be denied a car loan, potentially rendered homeless… Leslie:rolls eyes anarchically Miles:applying for an Oscar Well, thanks for the feedback. I guess I’ll go back to putting the depression in Depression, broke, friendless, hopeless… Leslie:giving into ancap™ tears™ You know, I have a lemon tree in my backyard, I could bring you some fresh lemons to… Miles:rebounding harder than post-WWII American economy Corner the organic market! Leslie you’re a genius! puts arm around her shoulder again Leslie, Leslie, Leslie, I’m so glad the invisible hand of the market that brought us here together today. Leslie:economically confused It did? Miles: As sure as Adam Smith’s law of supply and demand! Leslie: Who’s Adam Smith? Miles: … >:( Leslie:backing away I’ll just, go get those lemons yea? Miles:frozen like the national unemployment rate ha-ha economic memes so funny She doesn’t know who Adam Smith is. She’s as British as overpriced tea but doesn’t know who Adam Smith is. She probably doesn’t know anything about economics. reflects in smuggling and tax evasion No wonder we revolted. Leslie:returns laden with lemons (try saying that three times fast) Ok! I’ve got them! Miles: Now that’s what I call fast food! Leslie:giggles, dropping all the l e m o n s Oh, sorry sorry! Miles:scurrying to collect future profit No, that one’s on me, I’m a capital pun maker. I inherited it from my dad. Leslie:collecting the lemons for common use It’s alright, at least it was funny. Miles:getting kinda lost in your hazel eyes Leslie, ngl So, uh, wanna come inside and get these squeezed? I mean lemons, squeeze the lemons… you know what I mean. Leslie: Do I? Miles:leading her across the street Let’s hope not. C’mon, I’ll introduce you to the folks. Scene 2:Basically, a Bed, Bath and Beyond kitchen catalog, complete with tiled floor, “Live Laugh Love” signs, and several wine bottles. It’s even got a Golden Retriever named Biscuit. But he’s a good boy yesh you are, yesh you are! Oh yea, and Mr. and Mrs. Pinnacle are here. They’re actually really cool people, if a little American. Miles:barging through the front door with Leslie in tow Mom! Dad! I’m home! Dad:putting down the Wall Street Journal Hey-hey-hey sport, how’s the lemonade stand going?” Miles:with all the false confidence of a failing business We’re venturing into new markets! Mom:wipes off hands on a dish rag Oh, and you brought a friend over! Would you care to introduce us Miles? Miles: Oh yea, Mom, Dad this is Leslie, Leslie uh… Leslie:extending her hand Jones, Leslie Jones. It’s nice to meet you sir, thanks for having me. Dad:shakes her hand. Notices the Union Jack bandana around her neck and decides to get cultural Don’t mention it mate! We’re happy to have you, just don’t tax our tea am I right? laughs in protectionist economic policies. Mom: Miles are you and the queen staying for lunch? Or tea, rather? winking at Leslie Leslie:realizes that Americans have even less subtlety than she expected Dad: Untaxed of course. laughs in Marshall Plan Miles: Sorry mom, my partner and I gotta make first quarter. Dad: First quarter, or the first quarter? Leslie:chuckles Dad:finger guns the one person who laughed at his dad joke Miles: A-ha-ha-ha very funny dad. Just wait until ur next batch of Pinnacle Lemonade™ hits the market. Because you know what’s gonna happen? It’s gonna break the market. And you know why? Because it’s gonna be the best one yet. And you know why? Dad: Because you attached more quality than name to a product? Miles:gesturing between himself and Leslie because it was all his idea obviously, We’ve… got a secret ingredient. Dad: Foreign labor? Miles: No. I’m talking about the best marketing ploy since $.99, “organic.” Show ‘em your lemons Leslie. Leslie:blushingly reveals “her” lemons Dad: Wow, those look fresh, and more importantly, free. “Organic” could work, as long as you’re not false advertising our minute-maid again. Do you have a consistent supply? Miles: We sure do, right partner? Leslie: Uh… yea, we sure do. Dad:getting those proud dad gears turnin’ Well then what’re you waiting for son, time is money! Mom: Feel free to use the juicer Miles. Miles:grabs the juicer then opens the back-door Thanks mom! Let’s go out back Leslie and get lemons juiced! (ok I’ll stop) Mom:gushing as any mother of a friendless child would Oh! It was wonderful to meet you Leslie. You’re so striking I’m surprised I haven’t seen you in the neighborhood before. Do you live nearby? Leslie: Uh yea I live around here yea. Mom: Splendid! Then you simply must come to church with us this Sunday! The neighbors are coming over my signature homemade casserole™ and they have two boys you and Miles’ age that... Leslie:briskly Sorry, my mom and I aren’t big on church. Mom:without missing a beat That’s fine dear, you don’t have to be a believer to go. Why don’t you meet us here at 8 tomorrow, and we can take you with us? Leslie: I don’t think… Mom:places her arm around her shoulder, what’s with Americans and physical contact Splendid! Miles dear, you’ll be sure to introduce Leslie to Hans and Alexy tomorrow, won’t you? Miles: It’s Oliksey mom, and no they’re weirdos. Dad: We’re all Americans son. Miles: Fine. But I don’t think they’re Leslie’s crowd, you know? They’re too… foreign. Leslie:indignantly I can judge their character myself, thank you very much. Dad: See that, everybody’s happy except you Miles. Now, don’t you have money to make? Miles:sweeping her out the door C’mon Leslie let’s goooooo. Leslie:flustered at Miles’ hand position You’d better watch those mitts chav! Scene 3:The suburban boonies, an un-mowed backyard. Leslie’s lost count of how many trials and ERRORS Miles has put her through while trying to find the perfect cocktail. She wouldn’t be as pissed if there was actual alcohol in it, but they’re 14 and Miles wants to get into Yale, so he only drinks Old Fashioneds (as if). Miles:handing Leslie a crystal glass new concoction… whaddya think? Leslie:pushes the headphones further into her ears Christ, Miles. Do I have to try another one? Miles: Oh, c’mon please! This one’s the money I’m tellin’ ya. Leslie: That’s what you said about the last three piss jugs you had me drink. Miles: All part of the capitalist process my dear. Now, if you please? Leslie:takes the suspiciously presentable liquid Oh… bollocks. Leslie:s i p p Hm. Hmm! This is really good! Doesn’t taste like shite this time, what happened? Miles: Four-parts water, two-parts lemon-juice (not his), half part ice, half part sugar, half part mint, and a pinch, a PINCH of ginger. My dear Leslie I present to you, the first ever Pinnacle Beverages Lmt. Product, “The Mile High. Is what happened. 😊 Leslie:genuinely impressed This is really good Miles, and I’m not taking the piss I’d pay good money for this, and that means a lot coming from me. Miles:dollars signs for pupils That’s all I needed to hear, which is why… kneels before her Leslie:blushing like a Victorian aristocrat W-What’re you doing you nuttah! Miles:takes her hand Leslie, I’m prepared to offer you 15, no, 20% stock in Pinnacle Beverages Lmt.™. We’ll make millions Leslie, millions with your organic stock and my technical know-how. Mr. Pinnacle (inside):sees his son proposing to the punk queen Looks like he’s making more than a friend out there honey. Leslie:looks away bashfully Oh yea um,… about that. Miles: We’ll be on billboards across the country! Commercials on prime-time television! We’ll give Coca-Cola a run for their money, we’ll…! Leslie:hesitantly Miles… Miles:checking himself, but not for the right things No, no, you’re right. I shouldn’t get ahead of myself. You were an integral part of this operation and I shouldn’t undercut your contribution, which is why I’m preparing to offer you… retches excuse me, 25% of my company from this day forward. All for the small price of an endless supply of fresh lemons. extends his hand Well friend, what do you say? Leslie:looks at his outstretched hand in guilt I… I can’t. Miles:about to cry Please, please don’t make me say 30%, it’ll break my heart. Leslie: I don’t care about your money, Miles. Miles: Great! 5% then! Leslie:shouting I stole the lemons Miles! Mr. Pinnacle (inside):turning back to his coffee I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that. Miles:incredulous Y-you’re right. This deal’s so good it’s basically stealing. Leslie: NO Miles. I stole those lemons from a house down the street. My flat won’t let us grow stuff in our place, so I come here to… you know, bridge the gap. Miles:pridefully You should’ve told me Leslie. Stealing violates the NAP, but lying violates our friendship. Leslie:prejudicely Pfft. Morality comes easy to toffs living in a two-story house in the when you live in a two-story house in the burbs. Miles:sincerely We weren’t born into money Leslie. My dad started as a door to door salesman before opening his own company with my mom. He pulled himself up by his bootstraps with wit, determination, and a modest business loan. Leslie:rolls eyes impoverishly Miles: I don’t know who you are, where you come from, your religion, your political ideology or any of that, and I don’t care. I wanna be your friend, and that should be enough. Leslie:lowering her guard You’d be friends with a two-bit thief like me? Miles:with reassuring confidence With a resourceful, unscrupulous marketing queen like you? As sure as Rothbard’s critique of central banking I would! Leslie: Still don’t know what you’re on about but, spits into hand I swear by Sid Vicious’ guitar strings I’ll be your mate if you’ll be mine. Miles:spits into his hand as well Deal. On one condition. Leslie: What’s that? Miles: No more stealing. Not when you’re with me. We’re a team now, and we help each other out right? Leslie: Fine. Guess now that I’ve got stock in a major beverage company I can only go up from here. Miles: Only pure profit from here partner! Leslie: Then let’s shake on it. Miles/Leslie (simultaneously):shaking hands At 20%, 30%. Miles/Leslie: 15%, 25%. Leslie:grips his hand You’re supposed to meet me halfway you greedy pig! Miles:grips hers back You’re supposed to negotiate better you snotty welcher! Leslie:grips him harder than the Federal Reserve Halfway Miles, before I unionize. Miles:surrenders to worker’s rights Fiiiiiine, 20%, final offer. Leslie: pops his knuckles Miles:takes his hand back yelping ow ow ow ow ok ok, 25% 25%. Leslie:smirks like the cocky Brit she is Pleasure doing business with you Miles. Miles:nursing his credit card hand The pleasures all mine. Leslie: Wait, if I can’t steal, how’re we gonna get more lemons? Miles: Well, if we factor in the increased cost of production and labor, we have no choice but to double the price of lemonade then use the excess earnings to re-invest... Leslie:gathering the remaining batches Yea, yea, yea I get it whatever let’s go. Miles:watching her with non-economic curiosity Right behind you, friend. Epilogue Allies: Ernst Hansel Gorbach: German-“Bavarian, but there’s only one Germany”-American, son of retired U.S. general and stay-at-home mother, “By the Kaiser!”, the most hardcore Lutheran you’ll ever meet, Aryan poster-boy, bit of a killjoy, surprisingly good singer, “Hitler was a cuck,” would simp for Wagner, slacks and tucked-in button-up shirt, 6’ 2”, “no hand-holding till marriage >:(,” 18, virgin (obviously), rugby, race-realist, HOI4, “wish I was home uniting the German tribes rn” Belligerents: Teenage insecurity Scene 1:Back on the cruel streets of American suburbia. Leslie:packing up the stand I can’t believe it. Miles:flipping through themodeststack of money That capitalism works? Leslie: No, that people bought lemonade for two quid. Miles: Exactly! Leslie:scoffs Selfish cock-up. Miles:shrugs It’s not selfish if people buy it. Speaking of which, here’s your cut. Leslie:counts it multiple times in disbelief (and poor math skills) Blimey, is this all for me? Miles: It’s eighteen dollars, Leslie. Leslie: That’s more than I’ve made all my life! I’m rightly chuffed I am, wait till my mum hears about this! Miles:smiling I’m glad Leslie, thanks for doing this with me. Leslie:returning the smile Happy to help Miles! Let me know if you ever wanna do… this… again. Ernst Hansel Gorbach enters stage right. Leslie:turns away bashfully after being rendered breathless by Aryan Prime Ernst “Hans”el Gorbach:stops his bike in front of Miles Picking up the pieces of another failed venture, eh Miles? Miles: Ackchyualy my dear Hanso, you just missed the opportunity of a lifetime. My newest creation was a tremendous success. Hans:looking at the shabby remains of a shabby lemonade stand before finally noticing the weird flat-chest I’m sure it was Miles. Who’s your newest sucker partner? Miles: Oh, this is Leslie, my business partner. Say hello, Leslie! Leslie:turns around slowly, avoiding his gaze while robotically extending her hand H-hi. Hans:gives her the once-over before gingerly shaking her dirty hand How do you do. Leslie:turns away as her cheeks turn into a bed of roses Miles:oblivious Hanso, I’m telling ya’ man. This stuff we made, perfection man, perfection. Hans:authoritative snort Is that true, Leslie? Was the stuff actually good this time? Leslie: Uh, y-yea. It was. Hans:race realist eyebrow raise I see. Well, I guess I’ll have to try it some time. Miles: You can try it after church tomorrow. You coming? Hans: Yea, I’ll be there. Is your friend going too? Miles: Nah, I don’t think… Leslie:blurting I’ll be there! Miles:socially confused But I thought you said… Leslie:turns around That I wouldn’t miss it for the world? You bet your arse I did! Hans:momentarily meets her eyes before casually turning away Right. Guess I’ll see you both there. Miles: Yea, I guess you will. Coming for casserole afterwards? Hans:getting back on his bike Sure. Leslie:hot mess I’ll see you there too! Hans:slow nod Cool. Catch you later Miles. It was good meeting you… uh? Leslie: Leslie. Hans:quietly Leslie. See you tomorrow.
Dash In 2018: Disappointments, Boondoggles, Scandals, Disasters, & Catastrophes
[This post was censored in the the paidshill Dash pumping sub, where actual discussion beyond "2018 kind of sucked for Dash" is not allowed, and then re-posted here.]
Disappointments In 2018, Dash failed to be listed on Coinbase while ETC and many other coins were, due to Dash's notorious Instamine, centralized development, and murky Howey Test/SEC Action status. In 2018, Dash failed be included in the OpenBazaar project, while Monero and several other alts were added. In 2018, efforts to hype Dash's supposedly impressive 2mb block-based tx/sec rate were crushed and humiliated when DCG's creaky old client hit a crippling software limitation around the same time as BCH and BSV were chewing through 32 and 64 megabyte blocks. In 2018, Dash's former anti-segwit hero Craig Wright learned new facts about law and concluded Dash is an illegal security, saying so loudly in tweets backed by citations. In 2018, Wirex and other debit card providers supported Bitcoin and many alts, but not Dash, despite a year of Shrem 2.0 shill talk about integrations 'soon'. In 2018, Dash Core used Uphold for the "Acquire Dash" part of their Kript mobile plan, but Uphold doesn't work in Venezuela , so that pillar of their strategy was broken. Boondoggles In 2018, the FanDuel fiasco wasted a fortune in cash and goodwill, leaving Dash's target market of online gambling to Calvin Ayre's BSV and Roger Ver's BCH blockchains. In 2018, the DACH Embassy fiasco wasted a fortune in cash and goodwill, as nobody ever really cared about Macrocuck/Simon/Basilpop/Ezra/Fabio running around desperately trying to look busy enough to justify their ridiculous burn rate and poor results. In 2018, the CoPay fiasco wasted a fortune in cash and goodwill as users and devs suffered an ambush from DCG, leaving the formerly hyped "backbone of Evolution" project instantly retired to abandonware status. In 2018, the Alt36 train-wreck-in-progress slowly lurched towards its imminent conclusion of causing more toxic FUD and wasting a fortune in cash and goodwill with zero deliverables to show for it. Scandals In 2018, fake "Venezuela adoption" news resulted in massive public humiliation as Twitter, cc, and Russia Today (ironically, the home of Dash paidshill Max Keiser) debunked hype that only amounted to useless stickers on greasy cash registers. In 2018, Evan and Amanda were missing in action, despite Evan's previous promises to develop hardware and support the ecosystem with his vast, intentionally insta-mined fortune. In 2018, Dash paid to hold a Bitcoin networking event at a Miami strip club, offending so many people (it was a 2nd offence for Dash with strippers at TNABC) the scandal was reported worldwide by Bloomberg, Fortue, Business Insider, etc. In 2018, knowledge of Dash's instamine became widespread throughout the entire crypto universe and the intentional nature of Evan's faked "bug" excuse became a subject of investigation. In 2018, Dash cargo cultists reduced themselves to shilling the dwindling number of cherry-picked metrics by which Dash was not failing utterly, such as the absurd "FairCoinValue" and fallacious/irrelevant "ATH Masternode Count" hype. In 2018, the KuvaCash fiasco turned toxic (wasting a fortune in cash and goodwill) resulting in a kDAO splinter group of venture capitalist MNOs and creating massive Howey Test implications. Disasters In 2018, a KuvaNation vs. DACH Force News civil war inflicted mass casualties, leaving a permanent split of the "DGBB" community into non-cooperative Team Tao and Team Joel factions fighting over a shrinking Treasury budget like starving rats. In 2018, malicious MNOs trolled Dash at the protocol level and on DashCentral, causing chaos at the very end of voting cycles, thus showing the entire world Dash is not resistant to Sybil attack after all. In 2018, Dash Clown Group Inc failed to live up to its own self-imposed "Agile Development" goals so many times they published one sketchy, final "DRAFT" roadmap, and then quietly abandoned entirely the idea of actually trying to meet deadlines (despite the dash.org page still advertising a Q4 2018 Alpha release). Catastrophes In 2018, a single mining pool controlled enough hashpower to prevent a timely upgrade, demonstrating that Dash's PoW is not sufficiently decentralized (due to Bitmain's monopoly on Dash ASICs). In 2018, www.crypto51.app showed the world Dash is >90% NiceHash-able and thus may be 51% attacked easily and cheaply (<1 BTC per hour), causing Poloniex and other exchanges to require 50 confirmations (rather than using InsantSend). In 2018, the failures of Dash's X11-based PoW security model and resulting threat of attacks caused Dash to abandon Nakamoto Consensus for a wonky, untested, homespun version of checkpoints (conceding defeat and offering an unconditional "pre-consensus" surrender before an attack even happened). In 2018, Evolution was not here by NYE (not even an alpha version of a testnet). In 2018, no amount of brave ThisIsFine talk about buying dips could change the fact that Dash Core Group Inc had to radically downsize due to their customary $935k/month funding being completely unsupportable. Analysis Never mind the price drop, even though Dash suffered worse than most of its Top 20 peers and fell in rank from #3 all the way down to #16. Let's ignore the fact Dash is marketed to investors with the 'Masternode' feature advertised as supposedly stabilizing the price. Let's also ignore the fact that in 2018 Dash's supposed Sybil-resistance was shown to be inadequate, as blockchain analysis revealed dozens of Masternodes trolling at the protocol level by voting no on all but the infamous DEMOTE RYAN TAYLOR proposal. Evolution was, after years of delays, complete from-scratch reboots, and blown goals, given one final self-imposed deadline to meet. Dash's Queen, Amanda of the Used Car Lot, declared she was going have to rethink her position regarding Duff's Instamined Masternode tokens if that deadline wasn't met. That deadline was midnight Dec 31, 2018. Now it's the first morning of 2019 and Evolution is nowhere to be seen. Even worse, Dash Clown Inc is once again making negative progress towards their goals of shipping a test-net version of v13 worth of the term "Release Candidate." Dash Clown Inc burned through ten (10) un-releasable (because broken) so-called Release Candidates. Finally the clueless clowns (running around like headless chickens since Andy Freer was fired or rage-quit) gave up on the entire v13 RC branch and went back to tinkering with v12. No updates to the crucial LLMQ repo have been made since November, when the price drop crushed DCG's budget and Andy suddenly left Evolution to die on the operating table. Dash in 2018 through the eyes of Reddit's most popular crypto sub January 2018
Most controversial comment: "I dont see how people dont get it. If you cant pay for food, you would invest what little you have into something as risky as crypto ? It is easy to judge from our POV but In reality, most would rather feed their familiy then look for ways to invest in some startup." Conclusion The Top Three Dash-related posts at cryptocurrency are a microcosm of Dash's start-to-finish miserable, horrible, terrible year of self-inflicted blunders, money pits, and epoch-ending cataclysms cumulating in the resolution of the Dash experiment and disproving Evan's "Dash is Digital Cash" hypothesis.
So I’m a 28 year old guy, and not exactly what most people would consider a normal one, thank god. No one, including any of my friends, knows just how deep that actually goes. Not even my best friend of 19 years, who I’m gonna call John, suspected a thing until it was too late. I’m gonna call myself Ghost for this, cause as far as any of you, or the feds for that matter, are concerned that’s all I am or ever will be. Every single thing I post as Gh0sT666 comes from a different IP address and its original location is completely untraceable, lol everything about Gh0sT666 is completely untraceable too for that matter. I learned the skills needed to do this kinda shit through years of using the dark web. Its been 8 or 9 years now, and the dark web has been a blessing so to speak. I went from watching the same old shit on BestGore to getting to see some real shit, live videos in all of their glorious and grotesque carnage. Shit I hadn’t ever seen before. It was love at first site. I’m not gonna go into depth on how I found out about this place or any hacking technicals, or even what this beautiful place is called. If you have to ask you’ll never know. I love this place way too much to risk it being compromised. Besides, we already have plenty of active patrons. My first experience with what I’m gonna call SharkT4nk for the purpose of writing this was when I was around 19 or 20 or some shit. It was extremely hard to get into and took hours of coding work (now ive gotten it down to just the press of a button and a randomized 26 character password, including letters like æ œ ø and ß so even if the feds do manage to find me, good luck guessing it ;) ) to access, but the second I heard that first scream I was sold. The page had a chat room on the right side of the screen, grey background, neon green text, and a loading video player taking up the rest of the screen. You could drag the chat box around wherever you want, and there was a control panel under it that listed off camera numbers and tip amounts. The video was taking time to load, still stuck on the same frame as when it appeared, the sound was coming through though. The sound of a power tool of some kind was dominating most of the audio but there was a super high pitched scream along with it. Finally, after what felt like 10 minutes, the video loaded and I saw it. The most beautiful piece of throbbing erection inducing gore I had ever seen. I can still remember it perfectly to this day. There was a large dark room, all you could see from the fluorescent light held up over the scene was a metal table with a girl strapped to it and a men next to her. There was what looked to be a tarp or plastic wrap or something all over the floor, and a small surgical table with the tools of the trade that id come to know so well placed on it. You could just barely see the shadowy outline of a forklift in the background. The girl was held down to the metal table with what looked like leather straps that were probably once white, now caked with deep reddish brown stains with bright red blood splattered on top, reflecting the light from the fluorescent bulb about 5 or 6 feet above. The man standing next to her was wearing a dark sweatshirt with a brownish red stained leather smock over it, dark pants, and a guy fawkes mask soaked with blood. The power tool I had heard was a sawzall, it wasn’t being used anymore unfortunately, but you could clearly tell what had been done with it. The bicep on this 20 something year old girls left arm was hanging off the bone, and the man in the guy fawkes mask was grabbing and squeezing and pulling at her torn bicep, all the while the girl on the table was screaming and sobbing the beautiful harmonies of agony. In a frenzy of dialed in, unadulterated sexual energy I unzipped my pants and began pleasuring myself, very careful not to finish too soon without seeing what happened next. I noticed the chat box had filled up with new requests, some of the user names having a gold star next to them and a bitcoin tip next to the requests. I scroll back and see one with a gold star and a tip of around 250 usd worth of bitcoin. “Cut the muscle off of its arm with a hack saw” I scroll down to the bottom and see the most recent starred request with a $500 tip. “cut the connective tissue in its jaw, clamp its head and neck down to the table, and rip its jaw off with the forklift” Need I describe the mess I had to clean up off the back of my laptop? I later learned that those gold stars next to their ambiguous user names were to show that they were one of that particular videos sponsors, and they had helped pay the fee for the kidnapping of the person in the video (we call them livestock) and the materials to be used in it. for a price that varied based on their original contribution, they could choose what happens next to the Livestock. Well needless to say my friends, I quickly learned that I wanted to be at the top of that list of sponsors on every video that I could be. The thrill of just watching something this beautifully macabre, so blissfully dark, so magically grotesque, wasn’t enough. I knew I needed more control than id get by being just another one of the plebs that were just watching. 01110111 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01101001 01101110 01100111 Me and john had been really close ever since we were kids. We were the only ones in our town that were into comic books, sci fi, and fantasy and shit, so we naturally gravitated towards each other. I had a couple family members that I liked, which was was nice. Unfortunately john never did, his older brother hated him for some reason, and most of his family were shitty to him. He didn’t like to talk about that stuff though. We were both pretty small growing up, and never exactly all that brave, but one time we were down by the pond in our town and there were a couple older kids picking on us, and one of them threw my bike in the pond and pushed me down. John picked up the biggest rock he could throw and lobbed it straight at the kids head, busting him open and actually making him cry. They ran off pretty quick after that. John picked me up and I nodded my thanks. He said “you know you’re the closest thing I have to family, I got you bro”. It meant a lot considering he never spoke about family related stuff. 01110111 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01101001 01101110 01100111 I started sponsoring feeds on Shark_T4nk a couple years after finding it. I had a pretty well paying job at the time working as a coder for a tech company, as well as a bit of credit card fraud on the side, so I had plenty to spare. just watching was starting to get boring. The hours spent at that job felt like a horrible waste of time, but I knew I needed to grind through it to be able to afford to keep sponsoring Feeds. At this point I was just a base level contributor, I donated 750 usd to the funding pool which gave me rights to place low priority bids on what happens to the livestock and got me a silver star. I did this for around a year, until I got a promotion and started making enough that I could finally spend more, much much more towards my now fully engulfing addiction. For around 1500 I got a gold star, top priority bids and access to a pov camera attached to the handlers (the guy doing the actual torturing) mask. For 2500 you got a green star, top bidding, pov cam, you get to choose some of the materials and tools used, and you can buy souvenirs taken from the victim (usually articles of clothing, personal belongings, sometimes teeth or skull fragments, even cuts of meat if you so desired and wanted to Fork up the cash for it, if you’ll excuse my pun) mailed to a P.O. box of your choosing. Those were the main levels that everyone bought into, but I wanted more. The top level of sponsorship was extremely rare, ive watched almost every feed for the past couple years at this point and I had never seen one. Not once. It cost 15000 usd and with that you get the works, you get all the perks of the green star except you now have a purple star, you can choose all of the materials and tools used, what happens and when it happens, whether the video is private or for the whole group (private is an extra 5000), and best of all seeing you’re the only contributor you get to choose the Livestock. You can choose anyone you want, excluding public officials. For the base level 15k purple star you can choose from their current lineup of livestock, you can see their stories, screen shots of their facebook pages with all of their friends and family members posts saying “we miss you” “we love you” and all that gushy shit. For 30,000 it can be anyone in the US. For 40,000 anyone in north America. For 100,000 anyone in the world. Apparently public officials can be chosen too, but those prices range from a million to 20 billion and costs 5,000 to 25,000 to even watch it and is reserved for VIP purple stars only (4 time purple sponsor). 01110111 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01101001 01101110 01100111 As me and john got older we started gravitating more towards the world of drugs and music. Wed go to festivals in the summer and take ecstasy and acid and have a blast, and in the winter we’d do coke and and ketamine in my room listening to music on my dads record player. We never really had “problems” with drugs, we just enjoyed them. I was always kind of like a kid brother to john, even though he was only a couple years older than me, so he was a bit awkward about introducing me to the stuff at first, but I eventually talked him into it, and god damn am I glad he did. To this day some of my best memories were of me and him rolling our faces off walking around outside in the rain with no shoes on; and seeing massive geometric patterns in the night sky on acid thinking we were talking to god, talking about the meaning of life and all of our deepest passions and fears. At this point we were without a doubt as thick as blood, we knew each other inside and out, but more importantly we trusted each other and that’s hard to come by in this life. 01110111 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01101001 01101110 01100111 The first time I got to see a purple star next to my name was glorious. I decided to keep the video private, in celebration of my first time holding the reins. I chose this 30 year old French man from their stock, who was acquired thanks to its lack of knowledge on protecting its identity while browsing the Dark Web. The only tools and materials I picked were pliers, a kitchen knife, a ball peen hammer, and a drum of hydrochloric acid. First I had the handler grab the livestocks bottom lip and pull it down till it bled profusely, almost ripping it from its face, and smash its teeth in with the ball side of the hammer. The sound of his teeth breaking, like shattering plastc or ceramic, and his whimpering scream made me quiver with pure ecstasy (which I had taken a lot of 30 minutes prior to starting the Feed, obviously got it from john). As the .4 of pure MDMA that I took was just rushing in and my teeth started to grind I told the handler to crush his left testicle with the pliers. He had a rough time of it too, it kept popping out from in between the jaws of the pliers. I had to settle for him holding it in place with his hand, blocking most of the good stuff from my view. At least I could still hear the scream and the squish. The Feed went on for another couple hours and it climaxed, around the same time and the same fashion as I did (for the third time), in a sticky puddle. The handler funneled acid down the livestocks throat, melting it from the inside out, along with part of the table. The sizzling, bubbling, gurgling sounds are still embedded in my memory, and still arouse me to this day. Once every six months I would fully fund a Feed, usually just going for the pre caught livestock, but after a while even that got boring. I needed something better. More personal. I decided to spend the 30 grand on something special. 01110111 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01101001 01101110 01100111 I had been hanging out with my friend John quite a bit in recent weeks, and when we weren’t hanging out we were texting each other almost constantly. one day he stopped replying to my texts entirely. I went to his house later that night and knocked, and his mom answered the door. “hello Mrs Doe!” I said to her, “is john here?”. “No, he isn’t hun, I just got home, haven’t seen him all day” she said with a polite smile. This wasn’t exactly out of the ordinary for him, john was still living with his parents technically but he spent most of his time away from the house hanging out with people, getting drunk and doing coke. “Im sorry mrs doe, but could I run up to johns room for a second? I think I left my phone charger up there last night.”. “Of course dear, just make sure you take off your shoes before going up” after all these years she still reminded me to take my shoes off when I come in the house. She was a nice lady, a bit too much so, at least when people were watching. She spoiled the shit out of John growing up, that’s why he’s still living at his moms house, which she must deeply regret seeing how she treats him now. I took my shoes off at the door, ran up the stairs and around the corner, opened the door to his room and shut it behind me. Looking around as quickly as I could, searching through mountains of trash and piles of comics and records, I found what I was looking for under the sheet next to his pillow. He had kept a journal ever since he was a kid, It was a small notebook with a light blue cover with a couple of fresh blood drops on it and a couple hundred pages of lined paper. I doubt he knew I, or anyone for that matter, knew about that book. What can I say? I get nosey when im fucked up. I tucked it under my shirt, pulled his phone charger out of the wall socket and headed back down stairs. “thanks Mrs Doe! Have a good night!” I said cheerily as I walked out the door and back to my car. When I got home I opened the notebook up to the most recent page and turned back a few pages until I found what I was looking for 01110111 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01101001 01101110 01100111 After reading the notebook I opened my laptop, set up all of my security (which takes about 5 minutes) and logged onto Shark_T4nk. I already received my conformation. this brought a smile to my face, I knew that the fun part was just around the corner. I felt like a teenager rushing home to watch porn. I replied to the conformation with my conformation code “Package secure” said one of the gold crowns (admins) “Question. I’ve been a purple star for 4 years now. You know I’m not a narc or a casual, I’ve spent hundreds of thousands here. Is there any way I could do it myself this time? I would pay literally anything and go literally anywhere.” 20 minutes went by. “Get a secured burner phone and text this number with your confirmation code. You will receive a location pin. Be there on February 24 at 2:00 am. Not a second later. Park at least a mile away and walk the rest of the way. The cost will be 1mil” he messaged back, along with a number. When you reach VIP purple star status after 4 purple level sponsorships you receive and code, a string of sixteen random words in different languages, some letters replaced by numbers, some by symbols. I sent that code and the reply was almost instant, I clicked the link and it brought me to that phones map app. It was a 16 hour drive into the next state over. I knew it would be well worth every second and droplet of gas it took. Now I just had to wait 6 days, and let me tell you, they dragged by slower than a spoiled little kids week before Christmas. I could barely contain myself that whole week, everyone at work was asking me what I was so excited about, I kept having to say I was going on vacation to Aruba for a few days and ended up getting the whole week off. John never came home the day I grabbed his notebook, My friends started asking if I had seen him. I hadn’t. Eventually the week of waiting came to pass and it was time to hit the road. I was practically shaking too bad to drive, but I tried to contain myself. I felt like I was on a small dose of molly, but a bit more anxious. Not in the scared sense, in the excited sense. The 16 hours of driving went by surprisingly fast, I only stopped twice, once to piss and once to eat. I don’t remember cheap fried chicken and mashed potatoes with gravy ever tasting so good. Finally, around 1:35, I got to the town I was meeting them at. it was a dark, empty town with not too much in it. I parked in a free parking lot next to a small movie theater. Walked down the road past the police station and the fire station, past a fast food place, and took a left past a convenience store and a video game store down a dark unlit road that led out towards the woods just outside if town. The road continued until the lights from town were all but invisible, after several minutes of walking (no small feet for a hacker that sits in front of a computer all day) I got to a small improvised parking area that was dug out from years of teenagers slamming their parents cars into park to go smoke weed in the woods. This is where the map was bringing me. I had to use the burner phones flashlight to see where I was going. I checked the phone to see what time it was, 1:59, perfect. Sure enough, at precisely 2am, a small black van came driving down the road, going just about the speed limit. It pulled just past me, and the two back doors opened. A large dark figure wearing a guy fawkes mask jumped out of the back of the van, and before I had the time to react he was putting a black cloth bag over my head. I was definitely scared but I tried to contain it, I knew it would probably have to be something like this, they wouldn’t just come pick me up without taking precautions. When we were in the back of the surprisingly spacious van, he said in a highly modulated voice “do you have any electronics on you? Phone? Ipod?” “yeah, just the burner phone” I replied as the van started moving. “is it untraceable back to you?” “of course” I said, trying to not sound too cocky. He told me to give him the phone and that he was going to strip search me for wires or bugs of any kind, and I agreed. He took all of my clothes off, careful not to remove the black bag and I sat down, completely naked except for the mask. I could hear him thoroughly patting all of my clothes down. He must’ve been content, cause I heard him open a lockbox under his seat and put everything except for the phone in, taking out a bag with new clothes, and a mask for me. I clumsily put on everything he gave me, it was all a bit small for me but I wasn’t about to complain. When I felt the mask in my hands I was filled with an exhilarating excitement and almost started quivering violently. I heard him unscrew the lid of a container which sounded like it had liquid in it. He gently placed something down in it and screwed the cap back on right as it started to quietly sizzle. “you lose the phone, you’ll get your clothes back when we return.” The modulated voice said. I heard him pull something out of his pocket, and unscrewed the cap off a different bottle, tipped the bottle over, apparently soaking the handkerchief or rag he had, and placed the rag over my face. I felt myself being dragged down into a deep pit of sleep. I’m not sure how long I was out, or how long the rest of the drive was, but I was sure about the headache I had. It was one of the worst I had ever experienced. When I woke up I was in a dark room in a warehouse, seated on a couch. Well, less seated than laid the fuck out. The bag was gone, but the dark masked figures weren’t. Three of them were now standing as tall as trees in front of me, arms crossed, the sound of their breath reverberating off the inside of the plastic masks filling my ears. I could see they had modulators strapped around their throats like shock collars. One of them reached a hand out to me, and I was about to take it thinking he was trying to help me up, but he lowered his hand and showed me that he had two pills for me. “chew and swallow. They're for the headache,” the distorted voice said “let us know when you’re ready to start.”. As apprehensive as I was about taking two random pills from people like this, at a place like this, I decided to just take them. I had come this far, and plus, im a huge contributor, why would they fuck themselves out of a probable future fortune. Two of the three figures walked out the door to the left of where I was sitting, and the other looked back at me through his mask, held the door open, waved me through, and cocked his head to the side. I got up off the couch, and started to walk up when he said “Mask.”. I looked around to room, and back at the couch, it was laying there next to where I just was. I grabbed it, and donned the fabled Shark_T4nk mask, in all of its harrowing glory. This is when I could feel the true weight and intensity in the air, eluding to the magic of what was about to happen. This really is a beautiful life isnt it? 01110111 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01101001 01101110 01100111 The last time I saw john before he disappeared was two days prior. We got some breakfast, drove around and smoked weed. To be honest that day wasn’t too different than any of the other times we hung out. He commented on my excited behavior, and asked what was up. I could barely suppress the keen, knowing glint in my eye. I just shrugged it off and told him I’ve been feeling really good lately. Like a changed man. I hadn’t thought of the vacation excuse yet, and even if I did I wouldn’t have told it to him. We tell each other basically everything with almost no exceptions, he would definitely think its suspicious that I planned a trip without telling him. He kept looking at me with slightly concerned eyes, and it just made me beam even harder. I couldn’t control it, I was overflowing with excitement and anticipation. I could tell he was a bit weirded out cause we ended up cutting our day short and going our separate ways for the evening, which was fine with me, I wasn’t sure how much longer I’d be able to keep the tiny bit of a poker face I still had up. 01110111 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01101001 01101110 01100111 After walking through the door, me and the three looming dark figures were walking through a much larger room in the warehouse. There were what looked to be large dog cages with shadowy unseen contents stacked up on top of each other arranged in long aisles. The room reeked of a long used and poorly cleaned animal barn. I was, being one if their top contributors at the time, very well trusted by them. At least in a business sense. They were showing me the livestock they had available. They were telling me that they were willing to add on another Feed or two for 40% off. The viewers would have loved to see someone new handling the livestock. I said I would let them know when we were done with the one I paid for. They did have some really good ones in stock right now too. There was this young girl, couldn’t be older than 18 or 19, red hair, pale skin, skinny. Her small-medium sized tits were dirty brown, and the smell of her was horrific. She must have been a fairly new acquisition because she still had fire in her eyes and fight left in her. The rest didn’t, and were a lot more docile. The hopelessness shining through their empty gazes as dark as night. Amidst her screams of “LET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!” and “WHO ARE YOU? WHAT DID I DO??” the others just sat silently. The sound of her terrified and furious voice started to make my dick chub up. I looked around at the rest of what this toy store of forbidden delights had to offer. Cold, dead, and zoned out eyes trained on their food dishes like starving dogs in a neglectful house, as far as the eye could see. I turned to one of my companions on this walk around the supermarket of delicious delicacies and said “I'm ready”. Me and one of the handlers walked towards a different door, one I hadn’t even noticed through the excitement of seeing all of the wonders this place contained. This door led to what looked like a garage, filled with all kinds of tools and blood stained pain implements. There were vice grips, clamps, chains, barbed wire, bolt cutters, sledgehammers, all kinds of knives and swords, even a weed wacker and so, so much more. The possibilities were as endless as my lust. It was so beautiful it brought a tear to my eye. The first my eyes had felt in a long, long time. I picked out my favorites, and asked the handler in a voice probably more akin to a kid asking his dad how many toys he can bring to his friends house than a man about to torture and kill his first person. “can I come back and choose new stuff if I get bored of these?” the man nodded. I couldn’t see his smirk but I could certainly feel it, I felt a bit awkward about that not gonna lie. I told myself to act a little more scary and mean while I was in the Feeding room. As we were heading to the next room, he stopped me dead in my tracks with a big beefy hand on my shoulder. He had a modulator in his other hand and strapped it around my neck like a father tying his sons tie for his first school dance (or at least that’s how it felt to me) and waves me to walk through the door. And there I was, after all these years spent wishing I could be here in person, after all of this time waiting and planning, and reveling in the thought of the glory ahead, finally I was here. The Feeding room. Walking through the spacious dark room towards the metal table with a man strapped to it, I was now filled with a kind of focused aggression. The ominous sound of the buzzing flourescent light that I had heard in the beginning of so many Feeds flipped a switch in my mind. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion, my heart was pounding, adrenaline pumping, not even a trace of second thought. I was all in on this, and loving every sweet, sweet second of it. The man that was strapped to the table was just starting to come to, the chloroform they have probably been keeping him under with clearly wearing off. The metal table was angled up, so the man was almost standing straight up, and we were coming in from behind it. You could hear him starting to struggle a little bit as he realized he was strapped to a metal table, naked and alone. It wouldn’t be long now until he truly grasped his fate. Coming up to the table now, I turned to face him, the man that walked me in still pushing the cart with the tools I chose for this task. I could now see the man of the hour, ( hopefully more like several hours) the one everyone had been asking me about for the past week. Jesus did he look skinnier than I’d ever seen him, apparently the don’t feed their guests here too well. John was standing there, completely naked strapped to the table, fear embedded in his eyes. The only thing I could think to say was “I always knew you had a small dick”. “who the fuck are you, you piece of shit?” he stammered. I just stood there silently, and could now feel my pulse in my throat and head, euphoria coursing through my veins. “All in due time.” I said to him through the modulator. Turning to the handler I had watched in so many videos over the past several years I said “are we ready to start? Cameras off and everything?”. He gave one silent nod. I smiled under my mask, and reached over to the table that was just out of johns site, the handler lowering the table. My hand came back into johns view holding a pickaxe, and he really started struggling now. “woah what the fuck? Dude stop” I chuckled as I stabbed it through the bottom of his foot. He screamed “please what the fuck I don’t know what I did but I’m sorry! Please PLEEASE can we just talk about this?”. He pissed himself, and by himself I mean all over the table, almost getting it all over me. “well that wasn’t very nice of you,” I said “lets see if we can make sure that wont happen again.” Walking all the way around the table, nice and slow, strutting, almost dancing, plucking the pick axe that was still stuck into his foot with my finger with every step. His head followed my every movement, occasionally letting out a whimper or a scream as I plucked away at the axe. I pulled a knife off the table, as well as a small propane blow torch. “woah dude wait what the fuck man? Please dude please fucking stop please I don’t even know what I did” the last word more of a sob than a plead. he sounded like a little kid being put in the corner when he wanted to be playing with his friends. It was a tone I had never heard out of him before. I gently place the knife at the base of his dick, and grabbed the rest of it. He was really squirming and screaming now. With a slow intensity, I sliced off his penis, millimeter by millimeter, and he let out some of the most sexually gratifying screams I had ever heard in my life. I laughed, put his penis down on the table next to him and picked up the torch. He was crying a weak, broken, and desperate cry now. As I turned on the gas and lit the flame I said “well we can’t have you bleeding out just yet, now can we?”. As i cauterized his nub he screamed louder and louder, I was getting sick of his melodrama. Everyone screamed, yeah, but usually they had given up hope by this point. I had to figure something out to stop that. I walked over to the table and looked around, eventually finding something that might do the trick. It was a handle for a tapping drill, the bits used to thread holes so you can tighten screws into them. I grabbed that and some adjustable straps, and walked back over to his now amputated dick. Picking up the flaccid and pale penis I put it in between the jaws of the tap handle and tighten the jaws down on it. He let out a desperate whine as he watched, and looked the other way, seeming more and more defeated by the second. Once the jaws were sufficiently tightened around it, I looped one end of the strap around the handle of the tool, walked over to him, forced the dick in his mouth as well as the squared center of tap handle itself, stretching his jaw wider that it had probably ever been stretched. I secured the other end of the strap and began tightening it. His eyes went cold, still weakly sobbing. He finally truly grasped the depravity he was about to suffer. A few hours went by like this, and my friend was barely recognizable anymore. Skin and muscle hanging off broken bones, mangled and amputated body parts like fingers and toes and a foot laying on the table and the floor, discarded like the snack wrappers john had strewn all over his room. He was going to bleed out soon and all three of us knew it. So I raised the table back up into a standing position, grabbing the knife I had used earlier to remove his genitals while I did it. You could tell he would have been too weak to hold himself up, but the strap that had been secured to his forehead had made sure his head stayed in place. After removing the makeshift ball gag, I slowly lifted my mask from my face, took of the modulator, and dropped them both on the floor. I could tell he thought he was hallucinating. “hello john,” I said with my normal voice “nice to see you again.” He began to cry. “w…. Why?” He cried weakly. I just smiled, raising the knife to his strapped down head. As I began to cut off his face, he got quiet. Clearly too confused and betrayed by this situation to care what happened to him at this point. Once it was fully removed from his skull, I move over to the table, and grabbed the final tool. The tool that would take his life. I walked back in front of this weakened, dying friend of mine holding the tool, wearing his face over mine like a mask, he was making eye contact, not that he had much choice due to his lack of eye lids. "goodbye john" I said with a smile. I raised the Kukri up, and swung it horizontally at his neck. Within two full chops and a final slice, his head was removed, and his life was over. 01110111 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01101001 01101110 01100111 The reason I told you this story is simple. I have gotten bored of watching, and at this point even participating in these Feeds. The thrills of the Feed alone aren’t even enough to make me cum weakly anymore. So I figured telling all of the fine people of reddit about my exploits could help that goal along. With the knowledge that people know exactly what I, and people like me are doing, regardless of whether or not you know me, and knowing you can do nothing to stop it, I will find the purest ecstacy. Whether or not you believe in my story or about my existence, just know that there are thousands upon thousands of people just like me. We are everywhere. We are ghosts. If you don’t know one of us directly chances are you know someone that does. We could be your neighbor, a new acquaintance, a police officer in your town, your mayor, your best friend of 20 years, your brother, your father, or your sister. And by the time you realize you’ve chosen the wrong associations, before you even come close to getting a whiff of our stench of reality and death, the Feed will have already begun. “I'm the fall of man Giving birth to sin Your god knew my disguise And still allowed me in I am a slave to pain Without a chance of peace or love But I'd rather reign below than be a servant up above” – Reckless “Judas Iscariot”
So much Nonsense! Free Serendipity, Plastic Guns, Invincible SBQ, Glass Armor. How much is too Much?
I've been lurking around the forums for months at this point. 500 hours in game as of this week. Staying somewhat quiet and learning as much as I could about the game, the community, Bethesda, and more. I was willing to remain unbiased and neutral on the new update even after reading the patch notes and the mass hysteria in the wilderness that is the reddit community. After experiencing the (new) game first hand, I understand where both sides are coming from but no matter how you look at it I'm not happy. It took a trip down to the Queen to truly see what a debacle the Bethesda monster has created, but more on that later. My concerns started before the patch even went live when I saw they weren't testing the update on PC first. "Wow, they're getting confident and taking the training wheels off" I thought. I'm all for giving people the benefit of the doubt, but when I noticed that bobby pin weights were back up I knew the floodgates were open and we were all about to drown. I get it. Small issues happen, but when you mix code from pre-fix builds to updated builds and start mixing and matching you're setting yourself up for failure. This is coding 101. I know this because I have completed Coding 101. This is similar to saving a Microsoft Word document so you have the most recent version and not the one with the title that says "PUT TITLE HERE". Benefit of the doubt gone. Now that they were on my bad side, I decided to dig deeper. Bethesda preaches transparency. The amount of sneaky updates (some were simply re-breaking fixed issues) they put in here is truly insulting. One example of this is I just went down to do a SBQ and was met with true broken-game frustration. My Anti-armor explosive shotgun was fully repaired to 200% as was my mole miner gaunlet. For comparison purposes, I repair my shotgun in game maybe once every 4-5 SBQ runs. Now I know what you're thinking "your gun doesn't do as much damage so you fired more shots than normal". Well for you people I tracked the bullets. I typically go through around 300 shells per run. This time I went through just over 400. However during this run, I had to repair my weapon (with level 3 Weapon Artisan) TWICE! The damage done to our guns per shot seems to be SIGNIFICANTLY increased. On top of this, the Queen was managing to kill me in full sentinel armor in 2-3 swiped of her wing and everything else down there was destroying my health bar which usually rarely even moves at all. As these weren't in the notes I can't be sure, but my gut tells me it may have something to do with the White Knight, Explosive, and other nerfs. I'll leave it up to the devs to fill in the blanks here but I'm speechless and debating moving my 5 Demo Expert points into Gunsmith. Although I'm sure as soon as I respec them they'll "fix" it and make me have to respec again. Oh, and a group of 8 people over level 100 managed to get her down to about 75% health. Good luck everyone else. What a great segway that was into the Special Nerfs, plan flea markets, and other things that we had 0 heads up on. Someone who preaches transparency might include something in their Inside-the-vault-type weekly publication to let players know of this in advance, although that would have only helped the afterburn from the pit of fire they just dumped our emotions and souls into. I almost shed a tear seeing plans I had spent countless hours hunting for being sold for caps that are decreasing in value faster than Bitcoin. It does seem that Bethesda has graced us with something useful after all though. Apparently even if you've never ever equipped or even unlocked the serendipity perk, it will still pop up on your screen every 10 seconds or so and give you the benefits! How exciting! Almost as cool as the 2 week special weight reduction on bobby pins before their pay to win for a week strategy of selling new (slightly above average) costumes. *At this point the sarcasm is starting to leak out my left ear.* With regard to respeccing builds (great addition to the game), we need some sort of help here. I initially created my whole build around melee because that was supposedly OP. Then the duped TSE Handmades made their way into the game so I respecced into a rifle build. Then, upon doing this, I realize the explosive weapons are bugged and can't actually kill anything and make them invincible unless you melee them. Hours leveling to respec back to melee. Then ironically enough they fix the explosive damage glitch (that has been around since FO4) in like a week. Hours and hours leveling to respec back to rifles. Anyone else see a nauseating pattern here? Well the nerf on Tuesday can be added to the endless loop of hell we've been dealing with. If I respec to melee AGAIN (Which I DO NOT want to do or play as) then how do I know the next patch won't target melee/bloodied? Transparency would help with this. Tell us what you're thinking of doing and how things are working. Otherwise all we can do is speculate and you can see how well that works. I have even offered to pay atoms or caps or ANYTHING to get a respec other than leveling. But hey, more endgame for us right?? The weight limit of 1,500 + carryweight may hinder some dupers, but will hurt far more players who just want to have an honest bank character and run a trading post which is endgame content that WE had to come up with. I get that you're trying to solve the duping crisis, but at the risk of sounding mean, the dupers and malicious players are smarter than you and will beat you every time. I feel like I've lost the vast majority of readers by now but hopefully my witty anecdotes and sly jokes have kept some of you around. Bethesda to be honest I'm sick to my stomach writing and reading this. I'm upset for the people you've wronged from everything from the canvas bag, to the glitches, to the unwarranted bans on innocent players, to having the nerve to sell rum that costs more than $12 in a PLASTIC BOTTLE. The sad thing is there is even more I could add but at this point I've given myself enough reason to drop the game. Kingdom Hearts 3 is awesome. Fallout has the potential to be an all-time great game, but sadly Bethesda has failed. All I can do is be sad. To Bethesda and the Devs, I've stuck with you through the good times and the bad. I've helped where I can and submitted over 100 bug and glitch reports and never received any acknowledgement or even so much as an automated email back let alone a thank you. You could gain more good will with words, transparency, and an apology than you would fixing the game. You can't make everyone happy with changes to the game, you can by communicating with us. I would work for you for free to make this game better and give players what you promised. We the players are a community. You are not a part of that community any more. To be honest, I don't think I will even be a member of that community much longer and I've been with you for almost a decade at this point. Do right by the players. Honor your promises. Stop breaking more than you fix. Be better. TL:DR SBQ is damn near impossible even with strong players. Weapons appear to degrade significantly faster. Transparency is not in any dictionary that Bethesda has access to (apparently including the internet) Serendipity is now free for all players. Bobby pin weight reduction was a 2 week special event like the Unstoppables costumes Damage resistance seems to be broken (with full sentinel assassins and standing still the queen killed me in 2 swipes of her wing. Used to take 3-4 to even make a visible dent in my health. Even the low level scorched were destroying my health bar which has NEVER happened). We need some sort of way to respec other than leveling. New weight limit destroys the endgame for high level players (they'll be out leveling for the next month to respec anyway) Rum that costs more than $10 should come in a GLASS BOTTLE. Kingdom Hearts 3 came out at the perfect time. Still TL:DR Bethesda released a broken game, tried to fix it, broke it, tried to fix it, broke it, tried to fix it, broke it, tried to fix it, kinda fixed it, tried to fix things that weren't really broken, broke it, Kingdom Hearts 3 came out, everybody left, Bethesda goes out of business
I have said multiple times that at the very least, Trump is the little horn from the book of Daniel and with some events coming up in the future, I think it's appropriate to gather some of these spread out ideas across all of my posts into one. I'm not going to delve deep into this specific part because you can read about this more here.
Daniel 7 8 “While I was thinking about the horns, there before me was another horn, a little one, which came up among them; and three of the first horns were uprooted before it. This horn had eyes like the eyes of a human being and a mouth that spoke boastfully.
So the little horn uproots 3 of the others and its a person who speaks boastfully. I don't think Trump has uprooted anyone yet but maybe that's for later. Keeping with the "As above, so below" theme, what does "above" have to say about this little horn. Well, a lot actually.
https://astrolibrary.org/donald-trump-astrology/ Strengths in Donald Trump’s Birth Chart The first thing that stands out from Donald Trump’s birth chart is that he has the royal fixed star, Regulus, conjunct to his Ascendant. Regulus is one of the four Royal Stars of Persia, and the only one known as “The Royal Star,” the Star of Kings, and the “Heart of the Lion” (or Lion’s Heart. Cor Leonis in Italian). With Regulus on the Ascendant, Donald Trump can’t help but to have a “majestic temperament.” Donald Trump is extremely lucky to have been born with this honor. Having any of the Royal Fixed Stars on the Ascendant promises power, success, honor, charisma, wealth, and special talents as long as one mandatory condition is met (explained below). Regulus, in particular, also promises military honors and victory over enemies. This influence is doubled because Donald Trump has Mars near the Ascendant. Mars near Regulus promises honor, fame, strong character, public prominence, and high military command. Not enough good things can be said about having Regulus conjunct the Ascendant. It makes one courageous, frank, and noble. It allows Donald to see the big picture of things. those who have this star prominent are esteemed, commanding, independent, outspoken, great-souled and honor-loving, often wealthy and born leaders of men.” However, one big condition must be met for Donald Trump to receive all the benefits of Regulus. Donald must avoid revenge. That’s what Regulus requires. Regulus promises great success if revenge can be avoided. If Donald Trump engages in revenge, Regulus promises a falling from grace. "If, out of anger or hurt, the person takes revenge, then as promised with all Royal Stars, there is a falling from grace.” Falling from the grace of Regulus can bring violence, trouble, sickness, and scandal. Regulus can take away all that has been gained. As long as revenge is avoided, the sky is the limit for Donald Trump.
Assuming this is true, does anyone here think Trump won't do the very thing he isn't supposed to do. It's almost like he was fated to do it. Now what does this have to do with the little horn? Everything.
https://www.space.com/25084-regulus-...ation-leo.html From the remotest times it has been known as the "royal star" par excellence; one of the four royal stars regarded by the ancient Persian monarchy which were supposed long ago to rule over the four quarters of the heavens. In Babylon they knew it as Sharru, the King, in India as Maghā, the Mighty, in Persia as Miyan, the Center and in Latin Rex, from which Copernicus constructed the name we use today: Regulus, The Little King. The three other seasonal "royal stars" are Antares (summer), Fomalhaut (autumn) and Aldebaran (winter). But the royal star of spring, Regulus, has always been in a certain way, their chief. For about 5,000 years it has been believed, traditionally, to control the affairs of heaven, and the astrologers have seized upon this idea by making it the natal star of kings, and those destined to kingly achievements and rule.
Doc's first dog's name is Copernicus from Back to the Future. For the very large significance of the BttF Trilogy to all of this, go here. The Little King. The Little Baron Trump. The Little Horn from the Book of Daniel. 1 of 4 who supplants the other 3. Horns denote poweauthority in the Bible.
https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/baron A baron is a nobleman — a member of the aristocracy. Barons are also important, powerful businessmen with huge influence over their industries. In Britain, a baron is called “Lord,” but in the States, we call them “rich.” Barons are members of the aristocracy — wealthy people born into power and influence. How high a baron ranks depends on the country, but the title always carries respect. Similarly, a business leader who is rich, powerful, and influential is a baron. The term is used in phrases such as oil baron and baron of industry. You can also call that kind of baron a big businessman, magnate, mogul, top executive, or tycoon.
An asteroid will pass directly in front of Regulus, one of the brightest stars in our night sky, next Wednesday — briefly blacking out the star in what astronomers are calling a “once in a lifetime” event. Better yet, New York City falls directly within the viewing path which is literally paper-thin on the earths scale. The event is so small, and so brief, that it will only be visible over a sliver of area. And this area happens to encompass millions of people in New York City, Northeast NJ and Long Island.
On Thursday, March 20 2014, Regulus will participate in a rare celestial event when an asteroid passes directly in front of the star, as seen from Earth. The asteroid in question is 163 Erigone. Asteroid 163 Erigone is about 45 miles (72 km) wide, but its "shadow" slanting to Earth's surface will be 67 miles (108 km) wide.Erigone's shadow will move on a southeast-to-northwest trajectory and will extend from New York City as well as western and central Long Island to Oswego in New York State, and then continues northwest, the length of Ontario to the Hudson Bay shore of Manitoba. Those who are within the shadow path and watching at just the right moment with just their eyes will see an amazing sight: Regulus will seem to abruptly disappear as if a switch had been thrown, blotted out by the tiny invisible asteroid.Regulus will remain invisible for up to 14 seconds (for those situated along the center of the path); an incredible, albeit very brief occurrence.
This "once in a lifetime event" eclipsing right over New York. Home of Trump and the UNHQ, in 2014 for 14 seconds. The predictive Trump TV show from 1958 episode of Trackdown entitled "End of the World" claimed the end would be on November 14th. That's when the leonids were suppose to show up and batter the earth with meteors in the show. You can watch this 22 minute episode here. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leonids
The Leonids are a prolific meteor shower associated with the comet Tempel–Tuttle. The Leonids get their name from the location of their radiant in the constellation Leo: the meteors appear to radiate from that point in the sky. Their proper Greek name should be Leontids , but the word was initially constructed as a Greek/Latin hybrid and it has been used since. They peak in the month of November. The Leonids are famous because their meteor showers, or storms, can be among the most spectacular. Because of the storm of 1833 and the recent developments in scientific thought of the time (see for example the identification of Halley's Comet) the Leonids have had a major effect on the development of the scientific study of meteors, which had previously been thought to be atmospheric phenomena. Though it has been suggested the meteor shower-storm has been noted in ancient times it was the meteor storm of 1833 that broke into people's modern day awareness – it was of truly superlative strength. One estimate is over one hundred thousand meteors an hour, but another, done as the storm abated, estimated in excess of 240,000 meteors during the nine hours of the storm over the entire region of North America east of the Rocky Mountains. It was marked by several nations of Native Americans: the Cheyenne established a peace treaty and the Lakota calendar was reset. Abolitionists including Harriet Tubman and Frederick Douglass as well as slave-owners took note and others. The New York Evening Post carried a series of articles on the event including reports from Canada to Jamaica, it made news in several states beyond New York and though it appeared in North America was talked about in Europe. The journalism of the event tended to rise above the partisan debates of the time and reviewed facts as they could be sought out. Abraham Lincoln commented on it years later. Near Independence, Missouri, in Clay County, a refugee Mormon community watched the meteor shower on the banks of the Missouri River after having been driven from their homes by local settlers. The founder and first leader of Mormonism, Joseph Smith, afterwards noted in his journal that this event was a literal fulfillment of the word of God and a sure sign that the coming of Christ was close at hand.
They are located in the constellation Leo. So is Regulus. Regulus is known as the "heart of the lion". According to the chart on the Wiki, they peak on 11/17 for the next several years. 17 again. Seems they had a big impact on the people in 1833. This almost seems to relate to what happened in Star Trek with Vulcan and the psychic cloud they go back in time to get to stop the war from breaking out. (read about this here) More about the star Regulus
In Chinese it is known as 轩辕十四, the Fourteenth Star of Xuanyuan, the Yellow Emperor. It was one of the fifteen Behenian stars known to medieval astrologers, associated with granite.
https://preview.redd.it/kmqb3rmznwo11.jpg?width=564&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=34541b31262cc6f0ecf9d0cae89b3f72f6c88d03 The Cleopatra's Needle in Paris is made of yellow granite and this looks like a stargate. So do all of these Ferris wheels being built around the world. Then you have Yellowstone, which is a volcano. The yellow brick road from the Wizard of Oz that leads to Emerald City where you realize OZ is not great and powerful at all, that he's just a man behind the curtain and you had everything you already needed inside you. Also consider that Marty in the Back to the Future movies gets triggered when he is called chicken and it makes him insecure and do dumb shit. In the 3rd movie, the word chicken changes to "yella" to fit with the old west vernacular. Then at the end, a guy he knows named "Needles" challenges him to a race and calls him a chicken. Having learned his lesson in the movie about not letting things like that get to him, Marty averts a total disaster that derailed his future self's life in the 2nd movie. So Marty didn't follow the Yellow Brick Road and averted disaster. In relation to the Wizard of Oz story, both the Hopi Indians and the Bible speak of an "End Times" event that seem to look at the same thing just in opposite ways. The Bible says the Antichrist will set himself up in the 3rd temple and declare himself to be God. The Hopi say a god will take his mask off and be revealed to just be a man. So what are we to make of this? It sounds like completely opposite concepts. What if we're going to find out that WE are god, all of us, together. The 3rd temple doesn't have to be literally a temple. The temple refers to the human body in Christianity. When Jesus was mad and drove all the merchants out of the Temple for selling things and told them to get out of his Father's house, its a metaphor for driving out ones own inner merchants. This "god" we think of when we think of God, maybe its just a man behind a curtain. https://preview.redd.it/57y240whjyo11.jpg?width=791&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=16d9483e920eea79cd047f654c9d47229f48cd0f We have the "Trump Prophecy" movie coming out on 10/02 and 10/04. 10/03 is the date "Trump" will text all of our phones to "test" out this new system for FEMA alerts. 10:04 is when lightning struck the Clock Tower in Back to the Future and caused the clock to stop working. Could this be a metaphor for time itself? I have said since I heard about this movie coming out that that movie will be the major catalyst to Trump calling himself God. Once that movie reaches the consciousness of millions of delusional "Christian" Trump supporters, there's no stopping that train. His supporters will have it locked in their heads that Trump's will = God's will and Trump will start to believe that too. Who knows how long this will take to go into full effect but the church thinks they are under threat of extinction and they feel backed into a corner due to all of the unnecessary fear mongering they have been subjected to for decades. I don't know what we are in store for exactly. But I do know that all signs point to November for some major event and I mean major for all of humanity. This could range from an assassination attempt on Trump that either succeeds or fails, a terrorist attack by "Isis". Some sort of major act or declaration of war by an ally on another country, contact with alien life or even the appearance of what will look like the Messiah. One more thing to note. I came across this site where a man did a ridiculous amount of math to determine when the Messiah would come back in 2013 (I could not follow his method whatsoever but where he landed is pretty interesting either way) and the year he landed on was 2018 being the start of the 7 year tribulation period. 2018 also lines up with the Economist magazine from 1988 with a Phoenix on the cover speaking of a one world currency and strongly hinting at it being a Bitcoin like digital currency. The magazine said this would happen in 2018, 30 years from the year the magazine came out. You can read about determining the date here and the Economist prediction here, towards the bottom of that post. 2018 = 2 + 1 + 8 = 11 This person described King Solomon building the temple but not dedicating it to God until after 11 months and then having 14 days of celebration. The 11th month of the Jewish calendar is a 30 day month of winter ("Winter is coming"). The movie V for Vendetta was suppose to come out on 11/4/2005, which was the day before the 400th anniversary of Guy Fawkes day. For some reason, the movie got delayed to an official release date of 3/17/2005 (17 again). Ronald Reagan, who has a ridiculous amount of similarities and mirror differences with Trump, was elected president on 11/4/1980 and an attempt on his life was made on 3/30/1981. 3/17 3/30 30 - 17 = 13, there's "Mother" again. Regulus was eclipsed by 163 Erigone on 3/20 20 + 13 = 33. 33 is the number of Christ consciousness The man who did all the math speaking about the date of the Messiah's return, put a lot of emphasis on 1980 years (1980 just so happens to be the year Reagan was elected president) since the death of Jesus in 33AD. 1980 + 33 = 2013 and we come to 13 again. 13 & 17 like the locusts associated with the god without a mother who live and die and just to become foods for the birds (You can read about this here). Which Revelation 19:17-21 actually speaks about too, a feast for the birds dining on the bodies of the dead after the battle of Armageddon. So maybe those ARE the locusts the Bible was speaking about that come out of the pit. The Bible repeatedly says that no one will know the day and the hour Jesus is suppose to come back and the "Little Baron Trump" book says that no one knows for certain the date of his death. Combine that with the tombstone that was placed in Central Park on Easter Sunday 2016 with only a birth date and no death date, and maybe these 2 things are correlated.
BIOGRAPHICAL NOTICE OF WILHELM HEINRICH SEBASTIAN VON TROOMP, COMMONLY CALLED LITTLE BARON TRUMP As doubting Thomases seem to take particular pleasure in popping up on all occasions, Jack-in-the-Box-like, it may be well to head them off in this particular instance by proving that Baron Trump was a real baron, and not a mere baron of the mind. The family was originally French Huguenot — De la Trompe — which, upon the revocation of the Edict of Nantes in 1685, took refuge in Holland, where its head assumed the name of Van der Troomp, just as many other of the French Protestants rendered their names into Dutch. Some years later, upon the invitation of the Elector of Brandenburg, Niklas Van der Troomp became a subject of that prince, and purchased a large estate in the province of Pomerania, again changing his name, this time to Von Troomp. The “Little Baron,” so called from his diminutive stature, was born some time in the latter part of the seventeenth century. He was the last of his race in the direct line, although cousins of his are to-day well-known Pomeranian gentry. He began his travels at an incredibly early age, and filled his castle with such strange objects picked up here and there in the far away corners of the world, that the simple-minded peasantry came to look upon him as half bigwig and half magician —hence the growth of the many myths and fanciful stories concerning this indefatigable "globe-trotter". The date of his death cannot be fixed with any certainty ; but this much may be said : Among the portraits of Pomeranian notables hanging in the Rathhausat Stettin, there is one picturing a man of low stature, and with a head much too large for his body. He is dressed in some outlandish costume, and holds in his left hand a grotesque image in ivory, most elaborately carved. The broad face is full of intelligence, and the large gray eyes are lighted up with a good natured but quizzical look that invariably attracts attention. The man's right hand rests upon the back of a dog sitting on a table and looking straight out with an air of dignity that shows that he knew he was sitting for his portrait. If a visitor asks the guide who this man is, he always gets for answer: “ Oh, that’s the Little Baron!” But little Baron who, that’s the question ? Why may it not be the famous Wilhelm Heinrich Sebastian von Troomp, commonly called “ Little Baron Trump,” and his wonderful dog Bulger?
https://preview.redd.it/s4fqr7b5w6p11.jpg?width=2228&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=efb86fb904da0e6de21fe4a01c20d6bbfbcba49e https://preview.redd.it/3yg1smkpx6p11.jpg?width=1398&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a57e6c7b522d812eed76e7d7101a3932a40335c4 So in conclusion, I am not sure if this 11/14 (5) date is actually November 14th or (5th) or if this relates to the Jewish calendar and it correlates to Passover (which relates to Easter and the death and resurrection of Christ and is on 4/20 next year and is 3 years after the tombstone showed up in Central Park). Maybe Trump gets assassinated and then Jesus comes back in the form of humanity raising its collective consciousness level. Trump representing the pure ego of man, the animalistic side of us (The Beast). Crucifying him representing the crucifixion of humanities ego which is what allows us to ascend to higher consciousness levels further away from the lower animal self. Unfortunately this is what I have feared this entire Trump thing was about in the first place, collectively ridding humanity of people like Trump, his supporters as well. Trump and Q are the Pied Pipers leading them to their deaths. They will do whatever they are told and they are eventually going to be lead off of a cliff to die like the locusts so the birds can have a feast. I wish I could do more to make them see this but every time I have tried to talk to them, I may have just made things worse. They have truly been sent the powerful delusion spoken about in 2 Thessalonians 2. For the continuation of this idea and the very big significance of the 11/14 date, go here.
So I’m just going to leave my life’s story here for everyone. I might need serious help, I’m not sure. Lately I’ve been having something happen that concerns me where I mutter stuff out of nowhere, like I say things I didn’t mean to say. It never happens when I’m around people, only when I’m alone and I can stop if I catch myself. The stuff I say is usually weird and bad. Some specific stuff: “N-word” (And I’m not racist or anything), “Stupid, idiot. I could kill him.” “I hate him/I hate it.”,”I love you”, “I could I would. I could and I will.“, and (this is actually real) I say stuff like “slice, dice, chop, tear” a lot. There are no conscious streams of thought connecting to these words. I don’t know why I say them. Another thing that’s been more recent is some particularly violent dreams. One where I basically kept tearing someone’s head off, it regrowing so I could do it again, and screaming at them because they had been trying to push me around. Another time I just kind of shot down a bunch of people who were ninjas or something, but I remember specifically in the dream they were supposed to be “good guys” and I just wanted to kill them. The most disturbing one, which I woke up from immediately because it was so disgusting, was where my youngest brother (Who I love and am proud of to put it out there) slipped on the sidewalk, and when I went to pick him up I asked if he was alright he said “No.” in a very vivid about-to-cry way and I was horrified to see that his entire face was embedded deeply with staples. The dream was so realistic and gory. I immediately started to freak out and tried to help him pull the staples out but then I woke up with one of those really scared “What the fuck was that” feelings. This is a recent thing that is pretty infrequent. And at first it was crazy to me because my first thought was: I’m not violent. I don’t fight people. I don’t want to fight anyone. I don’t want to kill anybody. But I started analyzing myself a bit more and I realized I may have been putting off, basically my whole life, some pretty fucked up stuff that’s happened to me and that I’ve done to other people. So I guess I’ll start with where I am now and then go backward. Currently I consider myself well-adjusted. I just graduated college with a degree in Finance, I have IT experience in the reserves, and I’m staying with some family in the city (I grew up in a small town) working part time stocking shelves while I look for something full time in finance/IT. I have some good friends, but none who live near me right now and none who I would open up to about this sort of thing. I’ve had one girlfriend a year ago (More on that later.) But other than that I don’t do very good with girls, I don’t have a girlfriend right now. I spend a LOT of time by myself. In college I was the same way. I used to get very lonely, every once in awhile I still do, but for the most part I’m fine with it. I spend a lot of time learning, at least recently. Now that I’m older suddenly I found out I have more ability to concentrate on things and absorb info. Since I’m out of college I have more time to learn whatever I enjoy, so for the first time I feel like I’m some sort of superhuman hopping across Wikipedia pages and tutorials. I like computer science, finance/economics, history, current events, anatomy and physiology, and whatever other subjects I stumble across. Now the unnormal stuff: Up until now I’ve liked to pretend this stuff just isn’t a part of me. I completely ignore it. So I work out a lot, which is something that I feel like really helps my emotional health over all. I work out roughly 2 hours a day 6 days a week, and I’m very proud of how I look and feel now. I started working out in high school because I got picked on and was rejected by girls, so at first it was really hate and envy that motivated me. I don’t necessarily feel that way now, but everytime I workout its still the same: I fantasize about a bonfire, or a party where there is a group of people from high school or college (Never the army, because I actually like people in the reserves and feel like I belong there.) And I take on and fight the biggest douchebag or multiple douchebags from whichever place and I just like stand there in my awesomeness. Sometimes It’s just that, sometimes I’m also rich and I have a “posse” or bodyguards who I don’t need. Sometimes I monologue basically about how I got to where I was and how the things I had overcome. Narcissistic and ridiculous I know. Like I said before, even though this scenario runs through my head at least 2 hours a day six days a week I just pretend like that’s normal. And if I don’t run that sort of fantasy through my head I can’t work out as effectively. The other thing is sexual. WARNING - NSFW ….. So when I had a girlfriend for a few months I’d have sex and it was fine. Normal sex, the weirdest we’d ever do is tie each other’s hands. She liked being spanked. So that was normal, and for the most part the relationship was normal. But for as long as a I can remember, even in high school, the only way I can orgasm when masturbating is through BDSM porn. Usually pretty intense stuff. I don’t like blood or cuts, but I like seeing physical pain. Usually a woman dominating a man. Over time it’s gotten darker. When I stop I just go about my life and I act normal, but now that I think about it it’s pretty odd to orgasm to the sounds of people screaming in pain. This has become normal for me. So when I at first thought “I don’t want to hurt anybody, what’s going on?” I started to analyze and realize “Oh, yeah. That stuff.” So how did it get this way? I guess I’ll go back to childhood. I was homeschooled until sixth grade. 5th/6th grade are I think when problems started at home. My dad was a serious alcoholic. He still is but he’s at least mellow. Back then he wasn’t. Some examples: 8th grade summer: This is the only time he ever hit me when I was being kind of shitty because I didn’t want to go dig a fucking ditch to find a leaking pipe. For context: We had all been digging that stupid ditch for days and couldn’t find anything. I knew he didn’t know what he was doing and the pipe probably wasn’t even on that side of the house. We never found that pipe but I wound up digging that ditch again. He was drunk midday, smacked me across the face. I cried and tried to kind of get at him and yelled “I’ll kill you. I hate you” and he just kind of forced me back in the chair and I think he realized he went too far, but he just said “You’re not big enough or strong enough yet.” …fuck that kind of explains a lot. I’m kind of starting to cry while I write this. Another time he showed up to one of my cross country meets, I think 9th grade, totally drunk out of his mind. Another time he hit my mom and she being an idiot made him drive us to church on a Wednesday night so she could have “couple’s therapy” and her jaw hurt so she claimed she couldn’t drive. He was drunk Mom. He was drunk. We were swerving all over across the road there were cars beeping at us going the wrong way, they were screaming at each other, my little brothers were in front of me crying and I just was in the very back seat trying to meditate or something. I just tried to stay calm. I feel like I was the only one in the car that realized what mortal peril we were in and I guess I was getting ready to die or something. The next morning, like every time something like that happened, we all pretended like it didn’t. Last one: One time he was wasted in the middle of the day. I was just in the bathroom on the toilet. He tried the knob and saw it was locked and a split second later he kicked the door in so hard it flew against the opposite wall so I was just sitting on the toilet freaked out. He just muttered “Oh thought it was locked.” I was shaking. Like what the fuck. I actually did keep a knife under my mattress at one point, to prepare for something crazy like that. Now my relationship with my dad now is pretty mellow, but we never really came to terms with any of that stuff. We act like it never happened. He won’t even admit he did most of it. In my family we do very poorly with emotions. My brothers and I are very close for instance but we can’t say I love you to one another. I have a hard time saying it to anyone but my Mom. So I went into public school in 6th grade because my dad was first starting to get worse and my mom and him would fight all the time, very loudly, and divorce was on the table (But it never happened…they’ve just slept in a separate room all this time) and my mom felt like she didn’t have the energy to homeschool anymore. So I went into school with absolutely no social skills at all. I was a stand out weirdo and I remember for stuff like gym class I would literally just stand there. I had no confidence. I couldn’t muster whatever it took to try to catch the ball, and I always felt like there was so much pressure to try to impressed the other kids and be good. So they weren’t very impressed by me. I walked around with my arms folded behind my back for some reason. I didn’t really understand the social suicide I was committing. I’d say the next six years were just a really slow stumbling through trying to understand other humans and particularly the kids my age. In 7th grade my Mom started to just “check out.” Because her mom died who she had had serious unresolved issues with. So she went into a really depressed state for a couple years, and I think that made things harder. In 9th grade there was a girl I became obsessed with. We had been friends awhile, so I let her know I had feelings for her. She had a boyfriend who was VERY important to her at the time. So that whole cliché played out, except for the part where I mercilessly ripped into her via SMS, calling her every name in the book and taunting her, then asked for forgiveness, then did it again, eventually admitted my BDSM fantasies to her even though she really didn’t want to hear it, stalked her, grabbed her butt without her permission, came to her house uninvited only not to be let in, etc. And I had an unrequited psychotic obsession with her pretty much through all of high school. But for the last two years of high school she had stopped responding to me at all. So I look back on that and I feel pretty terrible. And I know if she wanted to report me to the police she could have ruined my life entirely, but for some reason she never did, so that makes me feel double shitty. But that didn’t stop me from about eight other counts of butt/boob grabbing, verbal assault, and uncomfortable pressuring of other girls that wanted nothing to do with me. One was a teacher. For whatever reason nobody ever reported me. By tenth grade I had gotten good enough at pretending to be a good kid that everyone seemed to think I was. I guess. So I never really though anything of any of that until my National Guard active training, where we had SHARP briefings on sexual harassment and stuff. And everyone makes fun of those briefings because we see them so often but they really played on something in the pit of my stomach that told me: “You’ve actually put girls into those positions. You’ve done awful stuff.” So yeah. After that I went to college. I didn’t really like college anymore than high school. I thought the other people were stupid. I came to study finance because I was passionate about it, I watched college lectures on Corporate Finance in 9th grade ffs, so the other kids there who didn’t seem to know why they were there just didn’t impress me. So I spent a lot of time in my dorm room alone. There were entire weeks where I didn’t speak to anyone. At one point I met a cute girl, we’ll call her Karen. Karen was very sweet, Karen was a passionate libertarian, thinker, and studied economics. I met her at at an economics association meeting. She basically at one point obliterated an argument I was making so I immediately thought “I want here number.” I got it and we hit it off. It was the first time I had a very wholesome reciprocated friendship with a girl. Karen was smart but a little naïve, and came from a good home. I think the song “Uptown Girl” could be her theme song. Unfortunately, a friendship was all it was, because Karen had a boyfriend in her hometown in another state. And he was VERY important to her at the time. But she didn’t have any other friends same as me, so we hung out a lot. Like a lot, a lot. We went on walks, lunch dates, dinner dates, whatever. We really clicked. But then my feelings kept growing for her and it felt like a repeat of high school. She reciprocated some of those feelings, but it was still all about the boy back home. I knew how to control myself better by then but it was rough. I didn’t want to lose this valuable friend but I was also extremely attracted to her, and she kept putting me in that position because she was lonely too. Eventually the bad thing happened. I decided I was being played for a bitch. I couldn’t accept this insult to my pride. So I figured I’d take what I wanted the way I always had, but this time it wouldn’t be just a cheap thrill. We were in her dorm room and we were talking and I forced myself on her. It started with an attempt at a kiss, she resisted, so I basically just started to force her against me. She resisted lightly but didn’t say anything. But that was it, I couldn’t go through with what I was planning to do. So I let go and we had a really long awkward silence staring at each other across the room. It was weird because this was the first time a girl I tried to do something like this to actually liked me in some way so I could tell it was scary and confusing for her, and it actually was for me too. I think she knew what I almost did. I can’t remember how I left, but later we texted, made up, and pretty shortly after became friends again, and I just went along with it and didn’t try anything again after that. So that was also weird. I still had feelings for her, and I don’t know how it would have turned out but at some point she dropped out of school to go home. She hadn’t told me until the day she was leaving, which was a shock to me. I guess she was embarrassed. So I offered one more long walk and we did, and it was a really good time. I felt like I was being mature, doing everything right for once. And we hugged before she left and she said “I’ll see you” and I just said “You won’t. You’re leaving.” And she had this kind of weird look and so far I’ve never seen her again. I tried texting her once asking if she would want to meet up again sometime, but she cited her boyfriend and said she couldn’t do that. I didn’t reply, just deleted the number immediately and never found her again. When I had my first real girlfriend it lasted four months, and was a relatively normal relationship, I mean any actual relationship would seem normal relative to my sexually-tense friend zone. I met her in my national guard unit, but she was also a 29 year old stripper with 2 kids. I had frequented strip clubs and wasn’t afraid to date a stripper. Started casual then got more serious. But she turned out to be batshit insane. Compulsive liar…the lies aren’t even worth getting into they were just pointless. Stuff she made up to get attention, and I believed most of them. So she played me like a fiddle and I dumped her when she went on a trip to San Diego without me. Later she tried to claim she was pregnant and just made the whole thing uglier and stupider than it needed to be, but the whole relationship experience was pretty meh in general. So now I am where I am. I think I covered a lot of the important points. I’m not sure if I should be concerned or not. I think I’ve just been repressing everything for a very long time, at least since I stopped venting my anger by harassing women. I don’t express emotions usually, everything just rolls off my shoulders for the most part. A few times I just get randomly sad, especially when I’m drunk but it does happen when I’m sober: I’ll just go through fits of crying. Not for any reason. Like, it could be a perfectly normal day and then at night I’ll cry until I fall asleep. It doesn’t happen often, and when it does I just wake up the next morning like it didn’t happen at all. When people reach out to me for empathy I don’t have a response. When my Mom is crying to me about something I feel bad because I want to offer more support but I just feel incapable of it. I wouldn’t call myself “dead inside” because I have plenty of interest in the world around me and I’m not that bad with people anymore, but when it comes to genuine connections I’m pretty lost. I am very alone with my thoughts and feelings most of the time. I have some reddit forums I go to where I like the communities and I feel like a have a strong voice there, but not anywhere in real life. Really all I look forward to though is someday being extremely affluent and powerful, and just kind of rubbing in everyone’s face how great I am. Like some grand revenge on all the people who thought I was just some loser they could push around. If I let go of that fantasy I wouldn’t have much in life to be proud of, or much reason to get up in the morning. I try to learn and grow every day and keep myself focused which sounds really nice, but really it’s just because I have delusions of dominating people with power attained through knowledge. I always think it would be nice to live a modest life with a family, and sometimes I think about meeting a girl I actually like and respect like Karen but I haven’t met another one yet, and I feel pretty inhuman most of the time. Like I’ll have to put on a mask and pretend to be someone else to meet a Karen again, and maybe I’m too far gone to be happy that way. So I don’t think about relationships as much as I used too. I’ve partly given up. I feel completely fine each day, and feel like I’m building towards something, getting better all the time, but for all the wrong reasons. The only period in my life where I started to wake up to the idea that I needed a better philosophy was pretty recently at the tail end of college. So my whole life through the military and different internships I would save roughly 75% of the money I made (I also made a small profit going to college off full merit scholarship + military aid.) So I had, I think about $17,000 after a couple of years of playing the stock market and doing pretty well. I started looking into cryptocurrency and didn’t think too much of Bitcoin but got super into learning about Ethereum which uses the blockchain concept for a decentralized virtual machine, which turns out is kind of a really powerful thing. So in mid 2017 I shifted everything I had into Ethereum plus a couple other crypto platforms I thought had potential. I wound up making over $75,000 in the big crypto bubble. But I only ever cashed out $6000 to reward myself because I genuinely believed (and still do) that what I had invested in has a long way to go still. So, the market crashed and I now have lost all profits with some extra money to boot. My portfolio is only about $10,000 altogether now, not including my IRA which I never count because I wouldn’t touch it. So a few months ago I had gotten very depressed about that whole ordeal, and wasn’t sure what to do. I started meditating and just getting out of my own head more, going for walks without the fantasies. I kind of accepted my own mortality, the fact I might not ever achieve the things I want to, and humbled myself. It worked for a while but it didn’t stick. Now I feel fine about the whole thing, I’ve accepted the volatility of the market and I love keeping up on the new things happening in the field every day. But whether I someday have a really well paying career or start an amazing business or get rich on investments, which are all things I feel are totally possible it doesn’t really answer the question of what the hell I’m supposed to do with my funked up emotional well being. When I came here to write this I felt like I might be in danger of being the next big school shooter, but now I think I might be ok. I just wish I could connect with people IRL and I think maybe all the hate and anger would start to go away. This brain dump was really therapeutic though.
Visit Business Insider’s homepage for more stories. Stocks, oil, Treasury yields, and bitcoin tumbled on Monday after US lawmakers failed to agree on a rescue package to combat the economic ... Business Insider previously reported two high-frequency traders, Virtu Financial and DRW, are looking to provide liquidity in bitcoin futures markets. And other firms are likely to jump on the ... Joe Weisenthal/Business Insider Mark Anthony is a former Amex Exchange cotton trader whose interest in technology led him to Bitcoin. He wore his old pit jacket to the floor: Price settlement will be based on the Bitcoin Reference Rate, or a daily reference rate of the US dollar price of one bitcoin as of 4:00 p.m. London time. Get the latest Bitcoin price here.>> Bitcoin futures launched with a slow yet bullish start. ... Scott Olson/Getty Traders in the Standard & Poor’s 500 stock index options pit at the Chicago Board Options ... told Business Insider.
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